The River of de Nile..

Do you ever have one of those days??

Days where things you've known about for a while suddenly just smack you upside the head and make you notice them?

Today is one of those days for me..  Things just keep piling up.

The Toddler has changed dramatically in the past few months.

The Toddler I used to know was up and running from the moment you set him on his feet in the morning until you wrestled him down for a nap or bedtime. He has always been one of those kids that you hold just right, pat his butt & hum just so to get him to go to sleep.  He didn't eat alot of food or he crammed it all in at once because quite frankly he didn't have time to sit still.  His developmental therapist never really got to work with him because he wouldn't sit still long enough. He'd grab her toys and run across the room giggling like mad.. Let's place chase the baby!

The Toddler I know now sleeps in. When he does wake up, he isn't really awake and wants to sit and cuddle on my lap for 30-60mins.  He lingers over his meals, just sitting there slowly taking it in.  He takes at least two naps a day and comes to me , crawls up on me & lays his head down because he's tired.  While he still doesn't cooperate with his therapist (ha), he does sit down for the entire hour that she's here and somewhat acknowledges her attempts.  I still see glimpses of my rambuctious toddler in there.. He has bursts of the old him where he'll tear thru the house laughing and tossing things over the gate.. More often than not he's on my lap, head down watching tv or quietly just absorbing the surroundings.

Initially I thought it was a growth spurt (I really need to stop assuming this! Remember the last growth spurt with Drool Prince?!) but it's been happening since March and the point of a growth spurt is that it happens for a short period..  The Toddler now sleeps at least 12hrs at nite plus one large 3-4hr nap & 1-2 smaller (45min ish) naps.  His schedule reminds me of that of an infant..  He's awake for 3hrs and ready for a nap.. sleep, awake 3hrs and ready for a nap.  His therapist commented today that this is not a normal 2yr old behavior. 

I knew that.. but I was hiding.  I wanted it to go away on it's own so we didn't have to go thru the tests and wondering and waiting.  I wanted it to be a super long growth spurt because I just didn't want to deal with something else to worry about.. Denial.

We recently had a visit with Dr Lung who feels that since the sleepiness isn't going away, we need to do another sleep study to check out the sleep apnea again.. Fine, ok whatever. She also finds that his lungs are not clear.. Wait, she said "Most definitely NOT clear".  and since he hasn't had any signs of a cold for quite some time, she fears he's aspirating.  Great.  Swallow study = scheduled.   Oh and he's lost 2lbs in 6wks but we are hoping that's just from going off the pediasure and his weight is stabilizing on regular food..

She also asked about his 'overall' diagnosis.. 

Say huh?  

You know, he has asthma, GERD, heart, developmental & speech delays, possible aspiration, sleep apnea... Did his mom drink? Is it possibly fetal alcohol??  

No, not that I know of but thanks for adding that to my plate of worries.

Still I blew it all off.. We've known about the sleep apnea for a long time.. The T&A surgery didn't help a bit with the sleeping at nite..  The only thing that really concerned me was the lungs not being clear.. We've been in there before where I've seen no outwards signs that his lungs should be anything but clear & she's announced that they were not..

While discussing things with his developmental therapist, she gently told me that she has 2 other children she's working with at his same age & they are both doing things that he is not.. She's not so worried about the speech because Hello, he is the baby  of the family.. The youngest of 6..  But she also wonders , like I do, if it's possibly heart related.

So I did what most of us do (whether we admit it or not).. I googled it.. cuz I'm a dr and all, they just forgot to give me the title after my name.  So I put in heart issues, fatigue & gunky lungs.. Guess what I come up with?  Heart failure..  Uhmm no thanks.   I'll take sleep apnea & aspiration instead.

I do have a call into the cardiologist since they did say if we saw a change in behavior to let them know.. I just put it off because I'd much rather it not be a heart issue..

I like living in denial..

A baby no more..

Alas, the day has come..  I knew it would get here but I was trying to hide from it.. Damn thing found me anyway..

The Toddler has turned 2..  Gone are the days of people asking me how old he is & responding in months. Just saying 2yrs old sounds sooo grown up..

 I know, I know.. Kids grow up. Its inevitable.. Dang babies just can't stay babies.  This one is my very last baby (so Daddy Chaos says.. and I think I believe him this time) and is especially hard on me..

No one seems to understand.. Sure you're kid is growing up.. He's no longer a baby, he's a toddler.. big whoopie..

I am mourning the baby that he was, even while I look forward to the little boy he's becoming.. Being the youngest of 6, he'll always be 'the baby' but it's hard to see him grow up.. Why does no one else understand this? My mom, who is not a little kid person, thinks it's great.. You'll finally be out of that baby stage.. Uhm yes I will, but I love the baby stage-- hello, why do you think I have 6 kids?? lol!

I firmly believe The Toddler knows what a hard time Momma is having with him suddenly growing up on me. He has cuddled all day long :)  He's come running up to me just to give me a big hug and kiss.. Yes, he'll always be Mommas baby but he's growing up.


Happy Birthday Baby Bug!!!

Firsts

Baby Bug is full of firsts lately.  He's growing so fast, getting bigger!

We finally (at 20months old) found shoes to fit his big ole feet.  He has THICK, FAT ,WIDE feet..lol poor kid, hopefully they'll thin out someday but for now he has to wear an Extra Wide. Now that he finally has shoes that fit, he gets to :gasp: walk sometimes when we go out and about. It's so completely freakin adorable to have this little cherub walking beside you sweetly holding your hand (until he's not and throwing a tantrum because you are clearly going the wrong way!).

   Apparently my days of wearing him are now gone :(   The days of us being like one, where he was literally attached and always safe.. gone. I'll miss it- although I doubt my back will.  But my last baby is growing up.  It's hard to let go.

Baby Bug aka The Toddler is also quite the climber. He will scale the dining room chairs & be sitting on the table getting into everything before you can get out of your chair. He climbs onto the end tables to stand up and flick the light switch on and off... on and off..  It's to the point that I have to put him in his highchair or take him with me to go pee for pete sakes! The boy is into EVERYTHING.. If you catch him, of course he closes his eyes and smiles.. He can't see you, obviously you can't see him. The giggle gets him out of trouble everytime- maybe I'm getting soft?!  So it doesn't really surprise me that his whirlwind attitude ended in pain last nite.  While climbing/running/being ornery- he managed to fall down and hit his face on the ROUNDED coffee table.  The fact that my couch now has a nice blood stain proves that he's a little too much like his brother. He cried for 2.4seconds, ran to daddy w/his paci and laid his head down to hum for a minute.  It wasn't til Daddy looked more closely and saw blood coming from his eyelid that we all started to freak out.

uhmm le ouch!  It looks even better today- not!  I completely freaked out.. I'm like OMG it's his EYE, the baby's EYELID is bleeding! What do we do?  In the end, by the time I called Casa and was attempting to call the caseworker- he was already up running around giggling. We all decided that we'd just wait & watch.  Crazy kid. Heart failure, I tell you..  **side note- Drama Queen (who is truely living up to her name this week) insists it looks like a heart.. The boy has heart like talent, what can I say?

The very last first- also belonging to Baby Bug occurred this evening.. As I said, my baby- he's growing up.  He ran over to me, pulled his paci out and gave me a kiss.  I kissed back and said "Love you", to which he immediately responded with "Love YOU!".. Omg, my first Love you :)  Ok ok,it was more like a Buv Boo.. but still :)

Flickerings

Drool Prince is sitting here flicking himself in the EYEBALL -for the love of Pete, and then laughing & saying ow..  I keep telling him Drool Prince-QUIT doing that!  and he just responds- nope, I like it.

I don't understand, people.. I just don't.

The Toddler (aka Baby Bug) does the same thing- pinches himself while screaming & saying OWIE OWIE OWIE!!! but I attribute that to his being 21months old & just not computing that it's his own arm that he's pinching.. or maybe that pinching hurts? 

One would think that by the time you are this close to turning four, you might realize that flicking yourself in the eye might hurt or when it does that you might just quit.. Apparently, I'm wrong.

House 'O' Smell

Probably should have titled this one House-O-Shit but smell sounded nicer.. Too bad I had to go ahead and say both huh?! Lol Now I've spoiled the nice title for you, haven't I?

Today is a shitty day.. All around.

Spoiled Princess was up late LATE last nite whining and crying over her ear.  The ear that only hurts at bedtime- wtf is up with that?  So bright this morning I called the dr for an appt.  Turns out the Princess has yet another ear infection plus a nice red throat to boot..  Momma was informed that ears normally do hurt more at nite (thanks for telling me NOW.. That should be in a book people.. geesh) and that since this is her third one this year & second within a month of each other we will be sent on to ENT if it happens again.  

Off to Pharmacy to get meds.. While on our way there I decided to stop by home and get one of Drool Prince's meds that was conveniently empty.  They were supposed to give me a month's supply but for some reason thought it'd be fine and dandy for just this once, to give me a 2wk supply instead.  Boggles the mind, doesn' it?   I dropped off Spoiled Princess' prescription & showed them the basically empty bottle of meds that Drool Prince has been on for well over a year.. Explained that it was filled the very last day of January meaning it's been barely two weeks & HELLO- meds all gone?  They all mumbled amongst themselves & eventually apologized because apparently the computer screwed it up..  We left an hour later with both meds..

Next on the shitty list-- Drool Prince & Baby Bug have completely refused to nap.  Not as big a deal for Drool Prince but Baby Bug is going to turn into a MONSTER..

Lastly because I doubt I'll last the day to finish the tale.. My house smells of poop.   Baby Bug pooped his pants as you'd expect a 20month old to do.  Changed the diaper, disposed of it.. A while later I was thinking Holy Heck that diaper had linger effect or something!  It turns out Drool Prince decided for reasons unbeknownst to any living creature that he would sit here on the couch and poop his pants. Right after he had been to the bathroom. I can deal with pee accidents.. POOP is NEVER an accident (ok well maybe on those rare explosive situations but be assured this was not one of those)!!!!  Upon questioning, Drool Prince immediately said he didn't think he stunk.. but quickly ran out of sniffing reach.  The boy was finally caught, fumigated & put in his cage (crib- lest you think I actually cage the kids when they are brats) until Momma can look at him without wanting to spank the brat right out of him.

And now I'm left with a house smelling of nasty.. :sigh:   It's been one of those days.

Monday Vents

Things that annoy me on a Monday :

* Received a case plan for Drool Prince last week stating we had a status hearing on Feb.8th.. Yet no time, no place ect..  That's not the irritating part, I mean come on- we cannot expect DCS to actually be forthcoming with information.  The irritating (ha I intially wrote irrigating..which would take this post in a whole other direction) thing is that I emailed the caseworker immediately and asked if she could tell me which court it was in & what time she failed to email me back.. until this morning.. Obviously I couldn't go on such short notice :( GRR **

* Drool Prince fell down right before going to preschool and hit his noggin on the chair. I knew it hurt b/c he cried (you might remember that he never cries from pain - broken arm). I checked it out but by the time I got to him from across the room, he was done crying and just had a red spot.  No biggie, packed them up and off to preschool we went.. I picked them up a few hours later only to see he's now sporting a HUGE bump- right in the middle of his forehead.  I commented on it and his teacher is like OHH! I didnt even notice that!  Uhmm, how could you NOT notice that?  I'm not really super annoyed by this but come on, the boy is sporting a horn & you don't notice? 

*Drool Prince also decided this morning that it would be jolly good fun to pee his bed repeatedly (he claims 3 times, why he admits it is beyond me) so that when I went down to get him up I found that he was soaked from head to toe. Not a single dry spot on his clothes. NOT A ONE..  I simply cannot get it into my head to figure out WHY a child would want to lay in pee.. There is a bathroom downstairs- which he knows how to go by himself, he was not gated in, was not in the crib.. No hinderance other than his stubborness to getting up and going potty.. Now I can certainly understand an initial pee accident,but not to sit and lay there and do it over and over..  Ugh.

* Baby Bug (maybe I should change his name to Toddler Bug or just The Toddler?) has learned how to take the gates down. He just goes up to them and slams himself against them or grabs on and yanks as hard as he can. This one ticks me off b/c no place is safe.  We have the kitchen gated because in the kitchen is the stairs to the basement.. He will NOT leave the blessed gates alone.. Tips for this other than duct taping him to a darn chair would be appreciated !

There are a few of my vents for the day..

** Caseworker assured me that she'd email me after court to let me know what happened, if anything. Considering DCS is now closed- she renigged on that promise..

Biters Anonymous

Baby Bug is a chewer.. He's not like Drool Prince who had a special blanket that he would sit and chew/suck on to go to sleep.. No not the Bug.. 

He prefers to chew on clothes.  Preferably clothes which are not his.  Namely MY clothes- while they're still on me.

So last nite, Baby Bug was exceptionally grumpy. He came to lay with me.. Laid his sweet onery head on my shoulder and proceeded to sit and chew quietly on my shirt.  Ok no biggie, I'm used to being a human chew toy.

Then he decided to move spots.. And leaned over to grab a new piece of shirt with his mouth- only to BITE MY BOOB..

I'd like to say I didn't scream "OMG do not bite! We do NOT bite Momma's! LET GO!" but if you saw the bite mark (broke the skin even) you'd understand.

I think I'm going to have to try to institute a chewy blanket to prevent future bitings..

And they grow..

For quite some time I've had the little kids put their cups up on the "big" table & push them as far back as their arms could reach so that Baby Bug wouldnt' steal their sippys & guzzle them (or spit them down his shirt as he is apt to do)..

It's now a routine, get up from eating or snack time & shove your cup wayy back.. Test it with pretend baby arms & the shove it just a little farther back.

Tonite I watched Baby Bug take his sippy, put it up on the edge of the table (which is about as far as he could reach) and then clap his hands & take it back down.. lol..   how funny is it that the thing we did to keep him out of others cups, he is now doing?  Too cute!!

Another day in court..

Court yesterday was definitely interesting as I predicted.

DCS lost it's atty who I very much liked.  Unfortunately he has a family now and no one can blame him for jumping ship when his contract was up and moving onto the much more lucrative private side of attorneyhood  attorneyship you know what the heck I"m trying to say..

So this court date was the first time I've met the 'stand in' .. Yes they have 13 applicants but it seems are taking their sweet time going over the applications, so for now we share an atty with some other county..

This atty was HILARIOUS. S'rsly! I  almost burst out laughing in court. He was very...shall we say... enthusiastic?  Reminded me of a hyped up Matlock.

When the judge asked if DCS had anything to add to their already admitted report, he jumped up- fist in arm-and said YES I DO!   :giggle:.

In the end, it went very well.  DCS stated they will be refiling TPR as soon as the new atty can get the paperwork filled out based on the most recent self sabotaging Bmom has been doing..

We shall sit and see what happens, yet again.  Boy this sucks.

Always in someone else's hands

Tomorrow is court for Baby Bug.. The first court date since we (DCS) lost TPR.  In my state it takes two judges to agree in order for TPR to go thru.  We have the CHINS (Child in need of services) Judge & then the TPR judge (where the trial actually happens).

Tomorrow we go back to our CHIN's judge to see what he tells us to do.  The goal is officially changed back to reunification but we have many obstacles hindering that actually happening.  The CHIN's judge was actually DCS's attorney when Drool Prince first came into care so he knows the history & the family very well.  He was fully supportive of TPR filing & wondered why DCS waited as long as they did.  Needless to say, everyone expects him to be less than happy that the TPR judge did not grant it..

It should be very interesting, especially when those very important obstacles are brought up.  Everyone keep your fingers crossed for Baby Bug!

It's been a while

Look!

I know .. I know..

I'm STILL ALIVE..

Can you believe I survived Christmas Break? And am still marginally sane?

Life's been crazy and I've been neglecting you my bloggy followers..  I didn't mean to, I have lots I want to tell you about.. It's just that when I think of sitting down and typing it all out.. AGHHHH..

Let's see- the biggest news.. Update on WishyWashy & maybe baby.  First of all I FINALLY got to feel that little bugger kick.  I've tried repeatedly, practically walking around with my hands glued to WishyWashy's tummy with no success.. [hold it everyone, I just realized that I never blog named my friend only her sis and I can't keep going around calling her "my friend" repeatedly b/c its just annoying to me & probably you too but mainly me..  So I dub the friend "Cowie"]  So the evening of the 19th, I went shopping with Cowie.. Drama Queen's bday was fast approaching & I was desperately in need of bday presents.. During our trip we happened thru the baby section- as we are wont to do.. And just happened to find an adorable outfit- to which we then declared WHO CARES if it's 10pm, we're stopping to give the outfit to WishyWashy and play with the tummy.   So it was during that stay that Maybe Baby finally moved & kicked for me.. Woohoo :) 

Since WishyWashy doesn't have alot of close friends anymore (long story-bf is a jerk.. who I shall dub "twit" to keep my blog PG-13 rated) so while we were there we were discussing the delivery.  Cowie offered to be there for support & pictures.. I threw my hat in the ring b/c I've never witnessed a birth where I was not the one doing the work & WishyWashy wasn't allowed to go to prenatal classes.. Being the pro-birther @ 3births, I know the breathing.. Woohoo- score a point for me.  WishyWashy agreed, she'd love to have us both there and promised to call the minute she went into labor.

Little did we know it would be a scant 4hrs after we both got to our own homes and finally to bed. :sigh:  I haven't had a middle of the nite call since .. well since ever.. I answered the phone to "I think my water broke & there's ALOT of blood".. uhmm blood is never good at this point?  I hung up & rushed over.

After a long day, Maybe Baby was born almost 24hrs after that call. It was hands down the scariest delivery I've ever seen or heard of. The nurses & dr were scared.. At the end we were all screaming at WishyWashy to PUSH THAT BABY OUT NOW!!! as we waited on the c-sec team to get there so they could whisk her off to that instead.. Thankfully the baby was born- and alive.. WishyWashy was sill ok.. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief- seriously, it's caught on video.. lol.)  Maybe Baby gave us all some huge scares with her heartrate dropping into very very low numbers but once out did great!   All during the labor, WishyWashy worried about what was going to happen because she had never got ahold of the supervisor..  The nurses knew the whole story & did a urine test which came back clean (duh= house arrest..).. In the end WishyWashy was allowed to take Maybe Baby home with her pending meconium..  And this is where we sit.. Awaiting the meconium results.. Obviously holidays have delayed it.. We've all went to visit WishyWashy & Maybe Baby in the hospital & at home.. She's adorable and doing well.. But alas has firmly done the terrible..

She has firmly put into my head that I am not done. I really want another baby.  I honestly thought I was fine with Baby Bug being our final little one.. I suppose it's very good Daddy Chaos is shooting blanks b/c I long for that itty bitty newborn smell again .. lol.. Babies will be the death of me!

Next on the agenda during Christmas Break--  Drama Queen had her bday.  14 years old now. God I'm getting old.. To be old enough to have a 14yr old seems crazy to me.  She firmly reminds me that in 2yrs she'll be driving & in 4yrs she'll be out of the house.. WHAT? When did this happen? Ack..

Christmas was fun!! Everyone enjoyed the day & it was fun watching Southern Darlin' open her first presents in our house :)

After Christmas we had Southern Darlin's  birthday!! 6yrs old!! Our first birthday together :) She was thrilled that she was getting 6 presents (I honestly thought she might be upset b/c she knew Drama Queen got 14 - we do the age = # of presents-- but on Drama Queen's bday she proudly announced "Mommy, I'm going to be 6 so I get 6 presents right?!") . 

The downfall of Christmas break is that this is the first year I've ever been one of those parents that is counting down the days til the kids go back to school.. Normally I am happy to have them all home with me and just a bit sad to see them go back.  This year, I couldn't WAIT for school to start up again. Southern Darlin' does NOT do well when we have a change (or heck lack of) routine. Tantrums started the weekend that school ended & did not let up until she went back to school.  Oddly and thankfully enough we are now 3 days into school and she's back to the happy cheerful kiddo.. It's crazy how widely her moods can swing. 

Drool Prince is another that doesn't do well with routine changes plus he feeds off of Southern Darlin's behaviour.. So he has gotten himself in trouble quite a bit over the past few weeks and has decided to start peeing & pooping his pants again.. for the fun of it, apparently.

:sigh:  This is my life people.. Full of ups and downs.

Spoiled Princess is looking forward to her birthday coming up this month.  She can.hardly.WAIT. for it!

Baby Bug is turning 20months old later this month-- 20months just doesn't sound like a baby anymore.  There's so much going on in that case that I don't even want to get into it just yet.. Let's just say drama ,drama & more drama.. The lost TPR  probably won't matter in the long run since Biomom seems hell bent on sabatoging herself.


That my friends, was how my Christmas Break went in a very condensed version (even if it doesn't seem like it.. lol).  How was yours?

Still Kickin..

It's been a rough few weeks but we're still alive.  We spent the first week crying and devastated. Then got angry. Everyone is shocked at the judge's decision. Not to mention the fact that he apparently made it immediately upon receiving the attys' final paperwork. No sitting and thinking about it.  Not him, he signed it and then sat on it for 2wks before giving the decision to anyone.  I'm sorry but that just sounds fishy to me. If you were confident in your decision- would you really sit on it for 2wks? I think not.

I have a friend who is an acquaintance of said Idiot Judge. Apparently last time she saw him out and about, she did give him a piece of her mind. Ha! I wish she might have kicked his shins while she was at it, but it's something I guess! LOL.

There is soo much I wrote and erased.. Nothing I can really say here on a public blog. But I can safely say that everyone involved (sans DCS) is in the pissed off this is not happening stage. If only this blow had united DCS with the rest of the team to do something about this, alas they seem to be sitting on their asses and giving bmom whatever she wants.  I'm really hoping that this is some super secret stealthy move so they can jump out and spring a drug test @ the most opportune time.  I doubt it.

One thing that confuses me about this whole thing. If TPR is denied, bdad's voluntary TPR was also now void (his was contigent that Bmom get terminated).  So technically the state should have to pursue RU with either parent.  DCS is ignoring Bdad. Regardless of the fact that Bdad would give the baby to us if he got custody- I still strongly feel he's the better choice for many reasons. Yet they didn't even invite him to the case conference.. GRRR!

Ok now I've completely irritated myself w/this post so I'm going to just shut up & come back to give info on the possible Dec situation after while :)

Devastated

The verdict is in on TPR on Baby Bug.  Everyone was blown away to read that the termination petition was DENIED.  The court found there was not enough evidence to terminate & DCS must now change the goal back to RU & offer more services.

We are heartbroken and angry. This very same judge that granted termination on Drool Prince a year ago has now denied for Baby Bug even though the exact same biological parents & circumstances exist.

The only good I can find is that at this point, Baby Bug will not be immediately returned. Biomom must still work a caseplan. Things could change drastically when we go back to court in January.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. We could sure use them right now.

Things I am not planning on talking about

I have tons to talk about but no time to actually sit down and give the detail each thing deserves so here is a quick version of things I would have blogged about but just dont have time right now :

1. I am not going to talk about how Baby Bug has swine flu h1n1 right now.. Although he's finally starting to recover, the diapers are still very swineish if you know what I mean. EWW.

2. I am not going to talk about how Daddy Chaos is still alive despite being home on disability for 3wks now. Yeah, I know .. I'm surprised too! Dr says he will live and really go back to work !!! in 2 wks... if he survives those two weeks.

3. I am not going to talk about how certain people *cough*DaddyChaos*cough* have been home too long when they are now quoting Phinneas & Ferb on a daily basis.  Don't get me wrong, it is my Favorite cartoon but still..

4. I am not going to talk about the fact that rumor has it our TPR verdict is in but not read yet.

5. I most certainly am not going to talk about /rant & rave about the fact that #4 is driving me absolutely insane.  Some things are better to not know if you dont know the complete story.

6.  I am not going to talk about a situation that may or may not happen next month. It's one of those that you try to plan for but if it doesn't happen you don't want to be too disappointed. kwim?

7. Lastly I am not going to talk about how Daddy Chaos will not quit reading over my shoulder and trying to "help" me.  Dude, get your own blog and leave mine the heck alone!

Simple Pleasures & men in uniform

The UPS man showed up at my house the other day.  Oh the joy of getting a package!!

It's silly really how much a simple box in the mail can thrill me, regardless of it's contents.

From time to time I order something and then forget I ordered it so it's a pleasant surprise when it arrives on my doorstep.  Little things thrill me what can I say?!

This time however, I was certain of what the man in brown would be bringing to my door. I definitely had not forgotten this purchase! I jumped up and down & did a little happy dance when I saw the truck pause outside my door.  Daddy Chaos rolled his eyes at my giddiness over a box full of :

 

Yup! Medicine syringes! 50 of them WITH caps! 

Is it sad that I was so excited over this delivery? 

Perhaps even a bit more sad that I had to go out and find this particular brand and purchase in bulk (50 of them!)? 

You see it's all Baby Bug's fault.  The boy takes more medicine than my Gma used to. 
 Am- inhaler, 1liquid med, 1 antibiotic, 1 pill dissolved
Later AM- 1 liquid med
PM- 1 liquid med
Later PM- 1 antibiotic, 1 liquid med, 1 pill dissolved, 1packet dissolved, inhaler
not to mention nebs when needed and vitamins..

We received a few of these particular syringes the last time Drool Prince was in the hospital.  The hospital used them to store individual doses of his Tylenol 3 & when asked they said sure I could take his home & reuse them! So I did! The convenience of being able to measure out the meds, put a cap on it & take it with you- Wonderful!  Plus those syringes they give you @ the 3letter pharmacy just don't work for crap if you have to use them for an extended period of time. Worthless!  Don't get me wrong, I love our local 3letter pharmacy. They've been very good to us in finding the meds or at one time even another pharmacy that could compound Drool Prince's med but their brand of syringe? Dude they SUCK.

This is the gold star of syringes :

Beautiful ,isn't it?

I never claimed to be sane, did I?  No really.. did I? I can't recall..  If anyone needs some super awesome syringes (for medicinal purposes only! Lol) let me know cuz I have just a few extra.. lol

Bad Backs at work

What happens when you try to get up from the couch while holding your very grumpy, stressed out 1yr old??

Well if you're me, you'll only get about halfway up & then have the worst possible pain in your back which will then cause you to set the baby on the floor and stay hunched over for about 10mins while trying to move w/o killing myself.

Dang kid threw my back out again.. I swear this is the SECOND time this kid has gotten the best of me.. Good thing is that I can sit hunched over, just have to remind myself not to sit up straight or there willl be hell to pay!!

Sucks worse than the pain is that the baby is still in his post visit mode which means he simply cannot live w/o being attached to me 23/24hrs per day. Momma can't pick him up so I guess I'll spend the next few days on the floor with him? Here's hoping things look better tomorrow..

Now I"m off to go cook some fresh garden grown (at gpa's house not mine- geesh, I dont have time for a garden! plus anything I planted would DIE or kill us..) green beans all while hunched over the stove.

Babies Anonymous

You know it's bad when your husband comes up to you, pushes his stomach out and makes his pretend baby belly *kick* you And you cry.

Sure it's hormone city here but still.. It's there, that little bit of sadness that your last baby is growing up. Lord help me, I want another one. It's an addiction I swear it! Someone get me into babies anonymous!

Baby Bug is walking! WALKING I say. The boy did not sit alone til 10.5months and then immediately started crawling. He's been walking for probably 2wks but has pretty much mastered it now, no more of those wobbly steps and falling down.. Not for him.

Now he gives you that look "Come get me! neener neener" and takes off at a fast fairly stable walk.

Little shit. How dare he grow up on me? This itty bitty who now weighs an average weight and is loosing that FTT diagnosis (yay me, as London would say. If you don't get that, don't ask.. Disney is on here 24/7). He walks, he talks (ok not really but he babbles so that counts right) and I cry just looking at it.

Yet here is his biomom, the woman who carried him for 9months - sure she didn't take the best care of him during those 9months but you'd think she had to care for him some since she did carry him right? This woman who does not see him since he was barely 8lbs and is now darn near 23lbs..

She doesn't blink an eye.

No tears....

No outward excitement whatsoever..

Just an "Oh, there he is."

We are now seeing her several times a week as she's on house arrest and quite frankly has nothing else to do (not only my opinion) until TPR happens.

She's friendly to me but it makes me want to shake her.

SHOW him some love. Bring him a little stuffed animal, a ball, anything that shows you were thinking of him once you left the office.

Act excited to see him. Instead of ripping him screaming from my arms, wait as I try to calm him and get him to see that you are a friend and it's ok to go with you.

For God's sake, quit just bouncing him as hard on your hip and telling him that he'll get over it, quit crying.. He wants his mommy, the only one he knows , the only one that has ever shown him that he is a precious baby to be loved and not just a possession.

It breaks my heart that we have to go thru this over and over. The baby who flinches whenever she tries to touch him, who hits her away and tries to hide himself in my neck is the same baby who is smiling and friendly to the cashier at Walmart.

The saddest part is that the same baby that has been screaming and reaching for me has already learned that I can't save him from this. He's giving up. The last time we made the transition from me to her, he cried but then he just shut down. You could see it in his face, he zoned out b/c he doesn't want to deal with it. It breaks my heart that he has to go thru this and learn the lesson that he can't always count on me to save him. I can only hope that TPR comes thru quickly.

Random Thoughts

Baby Bug had a MRI today (why is it that I always -every single time- want to type "An" MRI? I mean MRI does not start with a vowel or vowel sound.. WHY do I have to fix that error every blessed time?). A few questions floated thru my mind during the process :

1. They use sedation for little ones to have MRIs.. Why is it that the sedation takes effect in basically 10seconds (I kid you not!), they stay completely still during the entire procedure- get pulled out of the MRI machine, unwrapped and IMMEDIATELY sit up awake.. Honestly, how does that happen? I mean how do they know that oops, it's time to get up Right Now?

2. hmm we leave for Tx tomorrow, this time next week I'll have already met Southern Darlin'.. ( I didn't say all random thoughts/questions would be MRI related!)

3. Ok I know MRI's make noise- lots of it (bonus, earplugs given for MRI will be nice for long car trip coming up.. SCORE!) but I never realized that it talked. Maybe it's just me and I'm a little odd (ok we all know I'm a little odd.. get back to the point!) but I swear during the washing machine spin cycle noise the darn machine was saying "ucky potty.. ucky potty.. ucky potty".. Now why a MRI would want to say ucky potty to me?I have no clue, I'm just stating what happened.

4. I wonder if I can convince Daddy Chaos to go to work early so he can come home early, so we can LEAVE early? probably not but worth thinking of a way to try and bribe him...


And there you have it.. MRI's talk to me, in weird ways. Go figure! Results should be in within a week! Send good MRI vibes, k?

Bye bye Baby..

Baby Bug has officially added 'year' to his repertoire. No longer can I say, oh he's just 6months, 10 months..even 11months old.. No more.. as of today- he is 1yr old. (honestly I'll be using months til he's at least 18months but it's the point of the matter! work with me!).

It's a bittersweet day.. my likely very last baby is leaving all the babyhood stuff behind and fast approaching toddlerhood. What started as this itty bitty teeny tiny preemie grew and grew and grew.. He didn't start crawling til darn near 11months old and I assumed I'd have a while til walking. Apparently not. He's now pulling up and starting to cruise, I can only guess that first steps wont be too far behind.

We have court tomorrow and while biodad has made his opinion part of the official report, we have yet to see what biomom will do/say to DCS's request... I'm fairly certain she'll fight to the bitter end but we shall see..

I even have cute DCS policy friendly pictures to share (see how nice I am? Taking a zillion and one birthday pics & I thought to myself- ooh make sure you get a few that you can post on the blog!) !
I took a picture of the entire cake b/c O.M.G was it ever cute.. but when I edited it to take out Baby Bug's name.. it well.. somehow the pic keeps screwing up when I upload it here.. No clue.. Just take my word for it- ADORABLE!! Pooh & Tigger :) Perfection!

Hilarious to say the least! It took him a good 10mins before he'd even touch the cake :)
Ewww look at that hand !LOL!
He went straight to the tub.. Chocolate cake in the hair.. But ohh my did he have fun! If only I could share the huge grins once he really got into it.. Adorable! I did have an "ewww" moment when I put him in the tub and thought how close choc. cake in the hair looks like well something else we're not talking about.. lol Drama Queen has decided that this year for her 14th bday, she wants to do it up baby style.. no fork, no spoon- all mess! lol

Pictures that aren't really pictures

Do you know what really sucks about foster care? Ok one thing among MANY.. the fact that I can't show off how scrumptiously adorable my boys are. Instead you get stuck with pictures like this :

Please note the ONE sock.. The baby (yes he's still a baby, I don't care if he'll be one this month- Shut UP!) has discovered finally how to get off a sock (using his teeth , can't do it with hands-don't ask) so we are constantly in search of said missing sock. Either it's missing completely- in which case, I fear he may have ingested it which could explain his lack of appetite- or it's still hanging from his mouth half soaked. I really need to learn to just put a couple pair of extra socks in the van so he doesn't have to go around either sockless or w/one wet sock... Live and learn.

The rarely seen Drool Prince.. I figure this is safe b/c all you can see is his eye. Come on people, who can recognize someone from their EYE? If you can, then you're a super sleuth (not the pooh, tigger & Darby type) and I can't compete with your abilities. Regardless you are supposed to be focusing on the fingers here. Drool Prince swears they are MAGIC Fingers.. As he wiggled them around at me- Look Mommy! Magic fingers!!

Baby Bug decided to sit on Daddy Chaos' lap and *drive* while waiting to go into the dr. The kid goes straight for the shifter (is that what it's even called? I mean sure I can call it a shifter/gear shift on a manual but what is the correct term on an automatic? Ohh well you KNOW what I mean!)

And finally Baby Bug decides to cooperate and offer you this one last "non-identifying" picture of himself.. I mean he certainly didn't crawl under there and get stuck for the fun of it. He absolutely knew that Mommy would run and grab the camera to capture it for future blackmail to share with you all. See how sweet he is? Silly silly boy :)