Some days you just wanna SCREAM!!

Wednesday was one of those days.

I will preface all this by saying I can be a bitch.  I have times where I just get in a bitchy mode and the tiniest little things will irritate me.  I know, surprising.. There goes my sweet & innocent status.

Dimples (formerly TheToddler, formerly BabyBug-- gosh ppl quit letting me name my kids things they will outgrow.. I think at almost 3, we are beyond Toddlerhood..  ugh. No more name changes- pinky promise) has been in Early Intervention since he was teeny tiny. He was a preemie, a drug baby and behind a bit.. Plus we have this unknown brain issue- that might not be an issue but could be so let's watch it because we aren't going to know how it affects him until it starts affecting him or not.

We only work with Developmental therapy because there are no OTs available in our area thru the EI program.  For the past little while his DT  & I have become concerned that he's not making any progress and seems to be stuck in limbo.   So much so that DT will be ending very soon rather than write another ISP  to make it til he's 3 because there is something else going on and the DT cannot get anywhere with him. 

Now don't get me wrong- I agree with this.  We haven't seen any progress since.. summer? and he doesn't cooperate with sessions because he's too busy and can't concentrate.

We are testing him for Developmental preschool and I have to think that if they go by the recent (early this month) EI eval, he'll get in.  That eval team gave him a -2 deviation across the board (except gross motor).  Not because he's not doing anything but because he's still doing the exact same things that he did last year & is now a year older which makes him score worse.

I have had many ideas tossed at me by various professionals - FAS?  Autism? Sensory Issues?

I know he has sensory issues.  It seems when most ppl look for sensory, they look for avoiders.  The kids who can't touch certain textures or tags bother them ect.  My kid is a seeker. He runs into walls on purpose and bounces off because he likes it.  He is constantly running. I never set him down when we were out of the house because he WILL run and not stop.  I could go on about his other issues but that's not really what I wanted to write about today. 

So I got a referral for a private OT and Wednesday was our evaluation with her.  She is reported to be a very good OT who specializes in kids with sensory issues. Great, right? 

First impressions are important for many reasons and I'll just start by saying that my first impression of her was not the best..   She appeared friendly but a few things just rubbed me the wrong way.

While doing the interview portion- Dimples sat fairly quietly.. He colored on the folder I gave him (I was impressed with how long he sat and colored- world record for him!) and tried to get down a time or two but overall was very calm for him.  She looked at me and said "Is he always like this?"   Seriously?? He is being GOOD.. lol

Fishing Pole was with us & playing his leapster.  Again for him, he was behaving very well. He did interrupt twice to ask me a question but I didn't feel he was being a pest at all. She immediately corrected him and told him firmly that he needed to sit there and be quiet like a big boy because we were very busy and his Mom didn't have time to talk with him while we had to do very important stuff.  She then went and got him another toy to play with but something about the way she jumped on him irritated me.

Towards the end of our interview, she is talking about how she specializes in sensory issues and works with *these* kids all the time.  I must have looked at her questioningly because she then clarified "Kids with autism or aspergers".   Now right there I am pissed.  I'm not saying Dimples doesn't have something like that (although very affectionate & eye contact seem to be against straight up Autism*) but seriously that is just something you don't do.  You don't just automatically lump this child you just met into a group like that when you really know nothing much about him.   Yes autistic kids do have sensory issues but just because you have sensory issues doesn't mean the kid is autistic.

So at this point she has irritated me 3 times.  We moved onto the gym area because she wants to see him move.  Dimples has decided pretty much he does NOT like her.  Omg the meltdowns we had : (  She picked him up against his will several times.  It was just too much- new place, this weird stranger grabbing him & trying to make him do things.  Poor baby..  She then started in on discipline.

I'm sorry but this is my baby. Yes I'm probably in denial but still.  I admit we don't have alot of success with discipline- nothing works for him.  And at this point we aren't sure if he really understands when we try to explain things to him.  He's very very active. He does throw things (all the time) but I truly don't feel he's "bad" or misbehaving on purpose. I think he's having fun (throwing gets him the sensory input that just setting something down doesn't) and occasionally frustrated.   We practice redirection & if someone is hurt then he gets time-ins.  Nothing really works at this point.

ugh.. I will give this new OT her shot. We will try several sessions to see if Dimples can adjust to her & begin to trust her a bit.  We'll see if she can help because she's really the only one in our area right now.  But I'm not looking forward to it.  Not one bit.

* I am not saying that Dimples is or isn't on the Autism spectrum. He definitely has a few tendencies, however it was deeply offensive for a woman who had just spent 20mins sitting in a room with him  to automatically lump him into a category like that would solve everything.  I can only imagine how that would have affected another parent who perhaps hadn't researched everything To.Death.  and was blindsided by this woman barely meeting your child & throwing out a scary diagnosis.
                       xoxo,

What happens when..

This is what happens when your 2yr old, who normally takes a 3hr nap plus sleeps 12+hrs at night, skips a nap.

6pm

  I came into the living room to tell all the kids to get into their seats for supper and this is what I find.  Attitude King refuses any responsibility.  He claims TheToddler just climbed up there to sit with him & watch tv and went to sleep on his own..   

The kid would not wake up. He slept thru the nite until 9am the next morning!  

Maybe next time he'll listen to his Momma when she says it's naptime?? lol

                    xoxo,

What happens when...

What happens when....
...you adopt two kids you've been literally waiting years to adopt?

#1.Apparently it means that you don't blog for quite some time! lol!  Life is no more hectic than normal so I can't say I have excuses.

I'm still floating around on cloud 9 that my boys are adopted. Smiling in general and just telling everyone I know that yes, they are adopted now!  I have been working on adoption announcements and having a hard time choosing what I really want so I might just order 2 different ones.. lol I ended up doing that with both the girls' announcements as well.

#2. You still vent about the cw. I'm sure you're thinking, but wait.. you've adopted, why are you still dealing with the CW?   Well she has to close the Chins file and open the adoption file. She also has to get our subsidy paperwork sent in and get medicaid switched to their new names.  So that means that while the boys are both legally Chaos', they still have to go by their old names when we go to the dr or medicaid won't pay .  Medicaid has assured me that once the CW fills out the form, they'll have it switched over in a day or two. So it's all about waiting on the CW to get it done. Don't get me started.

What happens when...
...TheToddler has to wear a heart monitor for an entire month?

#1. You get absolutely no information. I'm still sitting here waiting to hear what they decide. Obviously nothing "life threatening" has shown up but no word yet on if or what else is showing up.

#2. He'll get lovely sores from the little 'stickies' that you have to keep on him 24/7.  I move them every other day to try to minimize the reaction but poor kid is owie.  Thank goodness today is his last day and we can take it off & send it back! I'm sure he's ready to be rid of it and I"m ready to get the results! lol!

What happens when...
..you do a random search on the lil girls birth mom whom you haven't had contact with since Spoiled Princess was an itty bitty?

#1. You just might FIND her!  I randomly google all my birth parent names just to see if anything crops up. Normally it's a new newspaper article from when one was arrested or whatnot.  This time I actually found the girls birth mom  and promptly freaked out.. lol.

After a day of debate,  I made contact. And then I waited several days to see if she would respond.  Respond she did and we are tentatively chatting and sharing info.  I'll update more later on how it progresses but I can say that I'm thrilled so far!

What happens when...
.. you finally take your kid to a dr who listens?

#1. You get the pulse oximeter you tried over and over to get from the old crazy dr who refused..

#2. You get a new Dr Lung/Sleep that you are absolutely in love with and would marry & live happily ever after if a) you weren't already happily married b)you were a lesbian c) uhmm, you get the point.   I <3 her.    She spent at least an hour talking to me, taking history & discussing her thoughts on everything.  I think we'll be seeing her a lot in the near future as she really wants to dig to the bottom of his issues and figure out WHY so she can fix it.

What happens when...

.. you leave your computer unattended for 5.3seconds?

#1. TheToddler will get on and immediately delete all you've written, type his own scribble & re-save it as your post.

#2. You will give up, restore what you can and go pick up Mexican for lunch.  After all, Mexican food makes everything better.. Right?

                      xoxo,

Adoption Day is finally here!

November is National Adoption Month.  Did you know?  My life has revolved around foster care for the past 6yrs and so it seems to me like everyone should already know all about it.  More than 114,000 foster children are available for adoption right now.   I've adopted my 4 and done my part. Your turn :)

As you know, the much anticipated adoption of Drool Prince & TheToddler has finally occurred! Sure it took 4½ & 2½ yrs but it's over and done with at last.   No more dealing with DCS, no more asking permission to go out of state, no more asking permission for Anything.  Loving it!

It's time to relive it - with pics. Be warned, there will be LOTs of pics..  Also be warned that some are taken w/ my phone which seemed to take craptastic pics that day even though it normally takes awesome ones.. Go figure.

~*~*~*~*~*~

First things first, The Toddler needed to get his hair did. You see the boy has awesome hair.  Great curls that I love but cannot control.  I can get his hair to look completely fab for about 3hrs and then it starts frizzing out.  We've grown it out (and boy does it grow like a weed) because I wanted to do some braids. Ok, ok.. I didn't want to do braids.  I wanted to get braids done. My fingers don't do the work quite so well, at least not when dealing with the sheer volume of hair these boys seem to come up with.

So a few days before adoption, I took him and got his hair braided.

He did not like it.

In fact, he protested quite a bit.

Thankfully our new stylist did not mind a bit and she did a pretty awesome job!

Cute, ain't he?

As adoption day loomed closer there were a few last minute snags.. We elected to ignore the slap in the face that was given during subsidy negotiations (more on this later because I tend to open my mouth when I should shut it) we accepted it and were able to move forward.. Nothing like being "threatened" with removal two days prior to adoption though..

Finally the day had arrived.. We got up super early as our adoption was set for 8:30in the morning.. Ugh.. We showed up and waited..  Waited for DCS to make their appearance (even though they ended up having no part in the adoption, still scratching my head over why they had to be there)..

That's Cowie sitting there w/ the kids :)

TheToddler was in a bit of a "mood"

Almost time!!

Southern Darlin' absolutely refused to smile. Poor thing, she was terrified to be in court.  Our best guess is that she was afraid we were returning her since the last time she'd been in a similar room was when we finalized her adoption.  It was sad to see her so scared.

closest thing to a smile we could get out of her.

Daddy Chaos made sure to tell her that we will Never Ever go to a courthouse Ever again so she just had to get thru this and we'd all go home..

Cowie was sure to pip up "until they call you with those newborn twin girls" since she knows it's my not-so-secret desire.

Drama Queen, not to be outdone, pipped in and said "We wont' be in court again until I'm here for juvie." Silly girl, doesn't she know that she doesn't look good in stripes?

Finally everyone arrived and we proceeded with the adoption!  Drool Prince wanted to be asked questions so our atty asked how old he was, did he want to be adopted & what his name was.  He planned on saying that he wanted his name to be "newfirstname newmiddlename 'Fishing Pole' ourlastname" so our atty prepared the judge ahead of time.  But when it came down to it, he chickened out and just said newmiddlename (which is what he will go by). When asked again he spelled his name.. lol. That definitely got a chuckle from all involved.  I do believe we will change his name to FishingPole on the blog though, only seems fair that he gets it somewhere after all that thought he put into it. lol.

He insisted on sitting in the judge's chair since we did it at Southern Darlin's adoption lol

Our completed family w/the Judge involved in 3 of the 4 cases!

Cowie with the boys, no longer her CASA kids.. now just her 'grandkids'

Once the adoption was finalized and we had gathered our shiny new adoption decrees, we headed out to breakfast because we were all starved. 8:30 in the AM at a courthouse 30+mins away from me plus 6kids to get ready = we didn't eat beforehand.  Sure I threw some dry cereal at the kids on the way but that doesn't count in anyone's book.

So breakfast was had by all. We had some other friends/family join us.. GmaH & Gpa J as well as WishyWashy and BabyMM came along :)   I had planned on doing some family pics after breakfast but I didn't plan for Drool Prince Fishing Pole to wear most of his breakfast vs eating it..  Or for TheToddler to decide to save up and soak his clothes completely with urine 15mins after I changed a diaper.  Fun times.. fun times..  So the only post adoption pics are the ones from breakfast..

Momma, TheToddler, 'FishingPole' & Daddy

Sisters plus Baby MM

After breakfast we went to visit TheToddler's fiance and change clothes.. Then off to the movies to see Drool Prince's  Fishing Pole's (that's gonna take some getting used to) choice of movies - MegaMind !

Obviously it was a long day.. 

And now it's over.  I don't feel the least bit different than I did last month or last year.. They've always been my boys. The only difference now is that everyone else has to call them by their new names.. Of our four adoptions, these two were the longest awaited ones.  I do have a sense of relief , a weight lifted that no one can take them ever again. 

Drool Prince Fishing Pole has been waiting a long time for this and happily tells everyone he sees that he is finally 'dopted!!  He then proceeds to tell them that they have to call him NewName and no one is ever allowed to call him OldName again!  Yes, sweetie- you are 100% right!

Xoxo,

Monday Randomness

First, the most important thing..

Let me introduce you to my two new SONS!!

Yes, my dears.. The adoption was finalized on Nov. 19th.  AT LAST!!  Mine! Mine! All Mine!! :)  TheToddler got his hair did.. All braided prettiness. Although Gma Chaos claims it makes him look like a girl, I love it.  He, however, screamed the entire time. Little turd. Anyhoo... I'm going to do another post on the actual adoption (with pics!) and all the drama that led up to it - because we all know my life is not mine w/o drama every second.. ugh!  The important thing is that it's over and the boys are officially "Chaoses" now.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Cpap is crap.

I absolutely abhor this machine. 

We have been trying it at nap times and bedtime for a month now.

TheToddler is supposed to wear it any time he sleeps. Period. 

 

He wears his mask just fine.  Yay. 

However, once you hook it up to the machine he Fuh-Reaks out!!

So now I put him to sleep first and slowly ease it on.  

He'll tolerate it for a while but he won't tolerate a high enough rate (it slowly ramps up) to stop his apnea episodes and so he wakes up and then goes into 100% panic mode and rips it off his face screaming.

I hate it!!

I feel like this big meanie monster making him wear it knowing he's going to wake up and freak out.. Plus then he won't go back to sleep.  UGH!  Naps that used to be 2-3 hrs are now 45mins max.  And then we have crazy boy to contend with until bedtime when we get to start all over again.

Yeah, it's fun. 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

We are on Day 13 of TheToddler wearing the event monitor to discover what is going on with his little heart.   Yet another piece of technology that I both love and loathe at the same time.  After having it go off 20+ times one day, I finally gave in and called Nurse Heart to see if she could give me some kind of heads up on what was going on.  

No such luck.  Instead I was told that Dr Heart is viewing the readings three times a day and if she saw something "life threatening emergency" then she'd have called me. Ok, fine. Still something is going on.  It looks like we'll have to wait til the month's up to find out what it is. Blah! 

~*~*~*~*~*~

Who watched the #AMAs?  I rarely watch these things because Daddy Chaos just doesn't have the patience for it.  But Twitter was all a buzz with #AMAs and it drew me in. 

First and foremost-  

Bon Jovi?  Totally on my bucket list.   I have never been to a single concert. any concert. Ever.   I really want to do a Bon Jovi one.. one of these days. 

Pink- Raise your glass.   I love Pink. I love most all her music.  Heck I even like this song but every. single. time. she says "Why so serious"  Heath Ledger pops into my head.

Photo Credit

I'm still sad that he's gone and we'll get no more movies with his adorable face & voice.  And heck we didn't really even get to see/hear his adorableness (is too a word) as the Joker because it was covered w/makeup and he was kinda evil.. Which sounds completely selfish, so yes I'm sad that he's gone =period. Not just for my own benefit.   So, Pink- thanks for the great song but not for the reminder.

Marry Me by Train- worth watching just for this.  I am so in love with this song right now. Yeah, I know it makes me a sappy little girl but there you have it.  If I were going to I Still Do and renewing my vows- I'd totally have this song playing.  #iadmitImsappy  Alas, I'm not going unless a money and babysitting fairy were to arrive on my doorstep.. But I will play along vicariously thru twitter.

Taylor Swift - Don't ask what draws me to her.. She's my secret embarrassment.  The one that as a Mom, I don't normally admit to listening to or at least claim I only listen to her because my 14yr old does.   In reality, my 14yr old is more embarrassed that I have the nerve to like Usher and Eminem.  How Dare I?  geez!

And really my peeps, that is all that mattered on the #AMAs.

~*~*~*~*~*~

In case you were wondering, during the course of writing this post- TheToddler woke up from his cpap and ripped it off screaming.  Yet another cpap #fail. 

                      xoxo,

NaBloPoMo #fail

Don't ask me what happened.. I was doing so good! Yesterday, I took the little boys off to the hospital to spend some time with Cowie, Shannon & TheToddler's newly born fiancee.  Who can resist a tiny baby to snuggle?

Beyond that, I may have forgotten to mention that cardiology has finally decided to humor me with my paranoid worry about the sleep study & heart pauses and hooked us up with an event monitor for 30days.  Yay!

We put the monitor on this past Wednesday.  It is amazing how technology advances so much. It still has a button to push whenever I see symptoms (blue lips, lethargic, ect) but it also will auto sense arrhythmias as well as too low or high of a heart rate. It senses these and automatically records them.   Even better, it will automatically send all transmissions - those I button pushed & those auto sensed- via cell towers.   Coolness.

Now you all know me, I'm overly paranoid and a bit of a control freak.  So while I love that it can autosense and automatically send these episodes, I don't love that it doesn't shout out to me that it's doing it.   So I'm constantly taking a peek at the monitor as TheToddler walks past.

Day 1- we didn't put it on til late afternoon.  Total of 3 transmissions, all automatic.   I was thinking, wow- cool. 3 auto transmissions so obviously something's going on.. I felt a little bit vindicated in pushing for it. I got one phone call from them requesting an additional reading, which seemed a little weird but I went with it.

Day 2- Total of 8 transmissions -1 button push, 7 auto.  2 call backs from them  which went a little something like this :
Monitor peeps: I'm calling to speak to the parent of TheToddler.
Momma: You've got me.
Monitor peeps:  How is he feeling right now? Is he lethargic? Pale? Can you please press the record button so we can get another reading??

And so I'd push the record button and do another reading, wondering what in the heck they saw to make them concerned.. This happened all the time with Drool Prince's recordings but he was actually passing out when his recorded.

Day 3- Total of 7 recordings- 3 button pushes, 4 auto transmissions.  Only 1 call for additional reading & all the questions..

Day 4- Yesterday, the day I failed NaBloPoMo-- dudes, this is my excuse.
Total of  19 recordings - only 3 of those were me pushing the button.. Several were recordings one after another .  Yesterday was freaky.  I  only had them call and request more readings twice but they sounded very freaked out & even asked if I was at home...

I should note- that when I say it did x amount of auto recordings, it may have done more but it did at least this many. I keep a journal of symptoms & when I push the button. So if I happen to look at the monitor and see it recording, I'll write down what he's doing, looks like ect in the journal too.

Day 5- Only 10 total recordings so far today, which seems like  a lot but I swear yesterday it seemed like it was recording All the Freaking time!

So as you can see, my mind has been elsewhere..

I'm glad it's picking up everything and recording.

I'm glad I fought for the monitor..

I'm even more worried about TheToddler.

I'm still worried that despite all of this, they are going to come back and tell me it's all artifact.

I kinda hoped we'd get the monitor and it wouldn't auto record anything at all.  That would have made me happy.  I would love to be wrong in this particular case.

I need a vacation from life.

                         xoxo,

Babies in love

My future daughter - in-law was born today.

Roughly 2hrs ago.

I haven't been up to see her yet but I have a picture on my phone and ohh the grandbabies that I will have in 25yrs or so!

You see, her mother and I set up the betrothal months ago, it's a match made in heaven. Momma's always know best, right?

The Toddler is 2 ½ yrs older than her which allows him time to mature as we know all men need to do before marriage. It's perfect.  Utterly perfect.. Ohh and I'm really hoping that she has good hair because TheToddler?? he has Awesome hair!

Now you know where I"ll be tonite. Introducing the two lovebirds.  *sigh*

Just thought you'd want to know.. And see, I marked it here for all to see- just wait I'll come back when they get married with pictures :)

Imitation is the best form of flattery

TheToddler doesn't talk alot.  Sure he's 2½ but he just isn't a kid that you can sit down and have a conversation with yet.  Drama Queen talked very early. By 2½ she knew all the words to all the songs on the radio and sang along.   Attitude King was pretty much unintelligible until kindergarten.  He tried but he was very "dutchy" (tongue tied & no dr ever caught it. ugh).

TheToddler is not "dutchy" he just doesn't talk much.  He can answer a few questions "Want MILK!" but for the most part his speech consists of imitation.  98% of what he says is repeating something he's heard us say.  He gets stuck on a phrase for a week or two and that's pretty much ALL we hear.

"Boke, need batt-a-ees" was very popular.  He was constantly bringing us things all day long claiming it was broke and needed batteries. From toys, to pillows to his paci.. Thank goodness he got over that one and moved on, it was cute but the kid just didn't get that paci's don't take batteries.. lol.

So we get these phrases and they go on for a week or two before he picks up a new phrase. When we actually hear new words/ phrases we quickly get excited! OMG, he actually said something w/o copying! YAY!

A few times my bubble has been burst because I realized that I said the exact same thing a few minutes ago and it most likely was imitation.  Example:

We had to ride the elevator- on the way up he pushed the button. I cheered " YAY! You did it! TheToddler pushed the button!! "
On the way back down, he pushed the button and throws his hands up (Kick Buttowski style) and says " Yay! Did it! Push button!"

If nothing else, the boy has a sense of humor.  In bed the other nite, I gave him a kiss and said my normal "Goodnite, TheToddler. I love you."   Now normally he responds with his own "Goo nigh Momma.  I dove eww"  which is just cute as heck.  Love that kid.   This night, however, he says " Goo nigh..... AttitudeKing" and then paused for reaction.  Naturally I giggled and so he giggled..

Now every single night we go thru that.

"Goodnite, TheToddler.  I love you!"

"Goo nigh......... AttitudeKing... I dove eww.... AttitudeKing"

Kids- love em while they're little because all too soon they'll be big and want nothing to do with you :)

Brrrr! Honey it's cold outside..

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!! 

It's cold out!!

I know, I know.. You're thinking "Momma Chaos, come on it is late October."   Yes it is late Oct but Mother Nature is screwing with the thermostat lately and it's been really warm.. So to be hit with COLD all the sudden.. Well I'm just not ready.

 I just had to get that out! :)  I mean I love fall.. All the pretty colors and all.

It's such a pretty time of year.. But I'm sorry, whoever is running the thermostat needs to understand that in Momma's world there is absolutely NO reason for my phone to tell me it's anywhere in the 30's.  Heck 40's is pushing it.   30's is firmly for winter.  Winter with snow.. Not pretty fall leaves.. ugh.

Also what is with my flowers?  You might remember that Daddy Chaos and I planted some pretty daisies this summer.  We were all excited about our first attempt at flowers and naturally they bloomed, looked pretty & promptly died.  Or so I thought.

Apparently they decided to wait til it was cold, get this huge bushy looking background (which honestly made me wonder is it flower or is it weed?) and Bloom again.. Go figure. Maybe this is normal daisy behavior or maybe mine are just extra special?  I prefer to not google it & pretend mine are special. They decided to resurrect themselves just to make me happy and add a little more color to my fall (even if it's winter temps).  Don't ruin my dreams!

Before I leave ya, I did want to say thanks for the comments, tweets & facebook love regarding Drool Prince's unexpected surgery  and my worries about TheToddler.  I'll do another post soon giving you all the deets (and pics.. ohhh ahhh), but very briefly :
*Drool Prince is recovering & doing well!
*TheToddler is still having blue spells, asleep & awake.  I lay awake most nites poking him when I see him not breathing.  DrBitch called to tell me that he really needs to see a cardiologist b/c the sleep study showed A Lot of sinus pauses (duh, tried to tell you .stupid bitch) and we are still waiting to hear what his cardio has to say.  Ohh and I did try again to get her to give me a pulse oximeter or apnea monitor now that she's seen the pauses & just admitted that they were serious.. She still says NO and will actually recommend to any other dr not to give it to me because we want to child to sleep.. Yes, yes we do want him to sleep but we also want to be sure he wakes up again.  ugh.

The Worry Monster

Have I mentioned lately that I'm a worrier?  I worry about this and that.. Silly things, important things, things that have already happened and things that could  happen. It's just who I am.  Being a mom, multiples the worry. Being a mom to special needs kids multiples the worry even more.

We've had many a medical crisis since Drool Prince joined our family.. Days where the drs would call and say Get Down Here NOW.. and we'd rush around and get our butts in gear..  I know the various surgeries and hospital stays have scarred Drool Prince.. I didn't realize that they had scarred me as well.

TheToddler & Drool Prince are full biological siblings.  They had the same drugs affecting their systems as they formed into little sweet babies.  It seems logical that if you start seeing signs of one's issue in the other, you might just freak a bit.. Or worry a lot.

Things mentioned that might not affect a non-heart mom like "ohh, I'm really not happy with what his heart is doing while he's sleeping." - said by the nurse conducting our sleep study on TheToddler.  

A non-heart mom would probably be a bit concerned but might not make a ton of it right away.

A heart mom who's 4yr old is sporting a pacemaker due to heart pauses of 7+ seconds would probably be concerned enough to freak out and question the nurse on "What exactly is his heart doing??".

Upon learning that her baby's heart is also pausing for 3-4 seconds while sleeping and during apnea events would probably be enough to cause the heart mom to start incessant worrying.

Said heart mom would then start having flashbacks to when the 4yr old's heart was pausing and drs telling her that anything over 3seconds made them start talking about pacemakers.

Dear God, not him too...

Being the above heart mom, I worried and worried and worried.. Then I called Dr Lung and asked if she could please get me a pulse oximeter so I could have him hooked up at night and I would know when his heart was pausing.. I could check on him, I could see that he was ok and still alive and all..  It seems like an easy enough way to make me more comfortable..  Dr Lung, being the unfeeling witch that she likes to be, basically told me I was stupid- I didn't need it, it would interrupt his sleep even more and go away shoo shoo..

Needless to say, this was the straw that broke the Momma's back and we will be finding a new Dr Lung.. I've been planning it anyway but hello, have a little compassion.

So I hung up from her and called NurseHeart.  They requested the report.  I waited over the weekend and slowly other things took up precedence in my mind.  Sure I still worried a bit in the background but I let it fall to the background and embraced distractions.

And then he'd turn blue yet again while sleeping and it'd jump to the forefront of my mind.. So I called NurseHeart to see what she'd found out.   It seems she spoke with TheToddler's cardiologist and she had some initial thoughts :

1. If it was true pausing for 4 seconds CPR would be started..
-- Not at all true. Drool Prince used to pass out and his heart was pausing for 7+ seconds.. CPR was never started bc his heart recovered on it's own.. The only difference-- Drool Prince was having pauses during waking hours, TheToddler is having them only during sleep.

2.  If it was really pausing he'd be turning blue.
-- Hello?? He turns blue at frequent times during his sleep.

NurseHeart promptly wrote down- "true pauses" and relayed that the cardio had also promised to talk to Drool Prince's  Dr.Heart knowing that the boys were related and Drool Prince has an uncommon heart issue.   The only problem??  NurseHeart wasn't sure if cardio had spoken to Dr.Heart yet..  So if I don't get a call back tonite (which seems unlikely as it's now 6:30pm), then I won't hear anything until late next week since NurseHeart is on vacay until then.

My head hurts.


My chest hurts.


I'm worried.


I don't want TheToddler to have issues.. I want him to be perfectly normal and healthy.  I want someone to tell me that heart pausing during sleep is normal.  That it's ok.  Until then, I'll sit and worry.  

When Sleeping is a No-No.

What NOT to do if you want to keep your toddler from napping :

1. Do NOT go anywhere in the car. If your toddler is anything like mine, the minute I get the car moving (if it's naptime) he is out like a little light.

2. Do not let him sit still too long.  Again, if it's naptime and my kid isn't preoccupied he is out like a light.

3. hmm, I guess my list isn't very long.. I might need help with this.

Normally I am not one to try and keep my kids from napping.  Hello- naptime= Mommytime.  Sadly, tonite is TheToddler's latest scheduled sleep study.  The instructions this time request that we not let him nap.

I don't think they know who they're talking about.

My toddler takes a nap at basically the same time Every.Single.Day !  He doooves his naps. He sleeps for a good 2-3hrs.  My kid LIKES his sleep..

Sure he turns blue when he sleeps.  Sure he gasps & chokes.  Sure he stops breathing.. Still he likes to sleep, maybe just to make Momma sit here and watch him to make sure he's still alive for the entire time.

So the last sleep study said that despite his tonsil & adenoid surgery a year ago, he still has Obstructive Sleep Apnea & yes it has progressed from mild to moderate.  On top of that, he also has "significant" hypoventilation.  Darn Co2 retention is too high for too long.  So it has been decided that he has to go on Cpap.  We've spent the past month or so trying out different cpap masks trying to find one that he'd tolerate and we are finally there! Now we go in and get hooked up to all the lovely sleep study stuff PLUS a cpap machine to see how he does.  Fun times.

Since I never got around to telling you more about the night from hell sleep study in July, I'll share some pics this time to help explain my predicament. 

First they measure and mark spots all over TheToddler's head, next they scrub on those spots to clean them (he no likey) ,then they attach little electrodes covered in a lovely pasty substance to each of those spots and wrap his head in gauze so he looks like a little baby mummy.

There are also some electrodes on his shoulders & legs as well as attached to two belts that they put on (chest and stomach).  All in all, LOTS of wires are coming off the poor kid .

 All of this, he tolerates pretty well.  He puts up with it but he doesn't like it.. The wires all coming off make for fun times since he tends to be a restless sleeper and gets all tangled up repeatedly resulting in Momma having to wake up and untangle him over ..and over.. and over again.   I will say it again.  FUN TIMES.



Last but not least, they do the nose crap.. First one that is taped just across his upper lip, under his nose.  Yeah, try that one with a kid who does not want you touching anywhere near his nose.  As if that weren't enough insult, they shove another set of little nasal things (that look like o2 tubing) up his nose..  We spent HOURS trying to get him to leave them on.  Putting them on while he was awake, trying to wait til he went to sleep.. over and over. 

Poor baby didn't have a fun time and Momma certainly didn't either.   This time is slightly different as we'll be trialing the Cpap machine this time.  I was told that Yay, no sticky bar across upper lip!  Yay!  But we still have to have the one that looks like o2 tubing..  I slightly questioned the lady on the phone as to How in the HECK they are going to get that in his nose while he has his mask on and was just told that the tech will work around it but he has to wear it.. Yeah, good luck.

pic of TheToddler wearing his mask. Note this is not today, we are forgoing naps today : (

As I'm sure you can tell,  I do not have high hopes for this one to work out well. I am really hoping it does & hoping he surprises me but I'm fairly certain I'm in for another night from hell.   Wish us luck and send some sleep vibes around 8pm EST if you would! 

And now I am off to chase down TheToddler who is meowing to the dog.


**Edited to add- as much as I complain about these things, I realize they need to be done and I am looking forward to the help it will hopefully give TheToddler in the long run.  I am not looking forward to the entire experience more on his own behalf than mine. I know this will be traumatizing for him and wish I could somehow ease it or explain it to him. ** 

How to freak out your toddler : 101

Sorry Peeps.. I know it's been lonely around here lately.   Some things have been going on with the Teen that aren't really blog friendly (ie. she has declared I may not tell anyone. at all. EVER.. too which I declared she should have thought of that before she did it.. Still, I'll respect it for now.. I really think it's a lesson that everyone needs to learn so I may share later on when it has settled down).  So I sit here biting my tongue and nothing else can get out either.

Sooo the story I have to share with you today is how to freak out your  OCD Toddler.  *brief side note- We have laughingly referred to TheToddler's little quirks lovingly as OCD Toddler style.  If he knocks his cup off his tray, he shrieks until you return it even though he is the one that just knocked it off.. Crazy, I know.  If you set his cup on the left side, he immediately grabs it and puts it on the right side because DUH Mom, you know it goes on the right.. If you set it on the right but not in the exact. right. spot. he will move it .. You get the picture.. Apparently I do not understand the meaning of the word brief. *

Daddy Chaos complained the other nite that he has a few spider bites on his hand.  He knows if there's one thing he can say that will freak me out, it's spiders (or snakes).  So naturally I insisted that he pull the bed out and search for the culprit because no way in Hell am I going to sleep with a spider in my room!

So this is what my bedroom looked like prior to the Spider invasion:

We use it as our bedroom and also the playroom..  1/2 is bedroom, the other half has TheToddler's toys plus an entertainment center with TV, vcr, dvd & playstation hooked up.  I absolutely <3 the  ginormous bean bags.. I've slept in them a time or two, they are awesome :)

You probably noted how the toddler bed is at the foot of our bed.. TheToddler prefers to shun said bed and sleeps most nights with us.  If he goes to sleep upstairs (ie. rocked) then we lay him in the toddler bed to sleep until he eventually wakes up and comes to get in bed with us.  If he refuses to go to sleep upstairs, we just all go to bed and he'll lay in our bed and go to sleep-then we move him to his bed.. It's not a great system, but it works for now.

So this particular night, TheToddler was refusing to rock to sleep. We all trooped downstairs and waited while Daddy Chaos pulled out the bed to check for spiders.  Since he already had the bed pulled out,  I had the brilliant idea of moving it.  What better chance?!  I sat TheToddler on the bed and we moved it to the other wall.

Apparently I didn't get the dimensions of the bed right this time around. Sue me.

We got everything arranged and climbed into bed only to realize that TheToddler was completely freaking out. His eyes were absolutely HUGE and he had this panicked look on his face. We tried to calm him and showed him how our bed was now closer to his bed. Yay! It's a good thing! Look, mommy & daddy are laying right here.. Look, here's your blankie.. Everything is fine.


Only everything was not fine. He was stiff as a board and completely refused to move. Just huddled into his pillow with this scared look on his face. After a few minutes of trying to calm and soothe him, I scooped him up and told Daddy Chaos to move the bed back RIGHT NOW!!

TheToddler laid in my arms and just shook.  Poor thing. We moved the bed back to it's original spot and climbed back in bed.. He laid down and sighed.

Apparently he doesn't handle change well? Who would have thought... And now I"m stuck with my bed the same way forever.. or at least until he moves out..   Can we say "High Maintenance" ?

Kick does hair

I may have mentioned a time or two how I have absolutely no skill with my little boys' hair.  I can braid my girls hair like crazy but something about the texture or in The Toddler's case, the length my fingers get all fumbled and I end up with a mess..

And cramped fingers.. lol

Drool Prince used to sit down when he was The Toddler's age and let me play to my hearts content.  I could faux braid, do twists, or even just a bunch of little puffs all over which would make the teen shriek that I was making him look like a girl and TAKE it down NOW.. lol.  I do enjoy making her shriek..  But nothing ever stayed for more than a day..

More often than not, I paid to have Drool Prince's hair done.  The lady I took him to could do adorable cornrows and some of the cutest hanging braids (no clue the official term?) you have ever seen.  The boy was Adorable! And it stayed in for weeks! Well worth the money spent.

Then came the day that he decided enough was enough.. He wanted his hair cut , didn't want long hair like a girl.. He would start yelling OUCH the minute you picked up the pick..

So we shaved it off.

Since then I've tried a time or two to do something with The Toddler's hair.  He has a much more sensitive head and he does not have the texture that Drool Prince had.. If I would slip for a second in DP's hair, no worries because it was still sitting there waiting for me to finish.  If I slip in TT's hair, it's all slid back out of any style I was trying and is just fro'ing out on me.  AHHH !

I've been looking at some cute pictures of DP back when he was 2.  I loved his hair. It was always styled (almost always) and he looked so freaking cute.. Short hair looks cute on him too, he just looks so much older.   I've been fighting with TT's hair for a while.. I'm so tempted to just buzz it off again because it's just easier.

Finally today, I decided to just try it.. I turned on the only way to make The Toddler sit still (Kick Buttoski) and sat down to try.

His hair is too short for me to actually get a good braid in (remember my fumble-y fingers and hair that slides right out and runs away) so I did mock braids..

You know the kind.. You put a little pony tail in and then twist it into the next pony tail.. Fake cornrows.. Gotta love it.. I got them fairly straight considering I haven't done it in over 2yrs..

And then you get to the back.. Ohh the mess that the back is.. He has this section of hair in the back that is Drool Prince's texture PLUS it gets rubbed off.. It's just not nice.   So we just won't look at the back of him anymore, k? lol

Personally I think he looks adorable.. I'll have to wait and see if the teen comes home and shrieks about it or not..   Quite honestly, I'm blessed with absolutely adorable boys.. So no matter what I do to them, they're still cute! lol!

Of all the ways to start a day..

I'm sure we have discussed my hatred of puke.  Odd in itself, I have no problems with puking myself.  I'm all in favor of getting it over with & feeling better for a few moments.  However, I have always (for as long as I can remember, with the exception of one morning sickness episode where I had to make the father of the baby I was carrying yet had never slept with pull the car over and let me out along side a major freeway-fun times, always!) puked in a toilet -where vomit belongs.  Vomit in any other place and not coming from me is not allowed.   So let us being what has been a day from hell..

First you will remember that I got puked on yesterday by M&M.  Baby puke that comes out pretty much as it went in does not bother me.  It's when they reach that point of 'grown up' puke.. Chunks are not allowed.

So today started as any other day.  Spoiled Princess had an appt scheduled for her post-op ear check. No biggie.  Drool Prince decided it would be a wonderful morning to soak himself & then lay in it & tear at his mattress. ugh.  The boy kills me some days.. just kills me.

Things were moving along at an appropriate pace. Lil kids eating their breakfast, The Toddler refusing as normal.  So I sat in my favorite spot with The Toddler & was giving him his bottle of pediasure.  3oz into it and he sits up and proceeds to puke ALL. OVER. ME.  Fountain style where it just kept coming and coming.. It was SOOOOOOOOOOOO Gross.

After I managed to get him and myself to the bathroom and stripped b/c ewwww, we were both soaked head to toe. I cleaned up and dumped all the clothes in the bathtub.  In my defense, I did attempt to rinse out the chunks (eww) but I kept gagging.. Daddy Chaos understands my puke issue and was impressed that I actually cleaned up the couch itself.   We were just discussing how this is one of those very few circumstances where I feel a 2nd wife is acceptable. Naturally the 2nd wife must be proficient in cleaning up vomit no matter where it is or who it came from.. She also must understand that cleaning vomit is her Only job & she will be put in the closet until needed.. Ohh, and she'll be very ugly with hairy moles or something.   Just sayin'.   Maybe a robot type maid would work better??  It's a thought in progress, leave me alone.

Anyhoo, see I got all distracted on making sure the fine print was there on the 2nd wife deal (which Daddy Chaos says makes it not worth it anymore.. spoils sport) and forgot what I was saying.. Immediately upon cleaning up the grossness, I called upon Cowie.  I'm pretty sure she could hear the near breaking in my voice and she came right over and scooped Drool Prince up to take him home and spoil him for the day.. Pukey kid is bad.. but having one who's prone to being rotten just to irritate Momma in the same house with a pukey kid is worse.

Needless to say, Spoiled Princess' appt was canceled to which she is upset b/c she got all ready. Whateva.

Daddy will be home soon to save us from the pukies.. The kid only puked one more time and it wasn't much but I'm still tramatized by the first one.  At least the new steam cleaner might get used to clean my couch.. That's a bonus right?