Wednesday was one of those days.
I will preface all this by saying I can be a bitch. I have times where I just get in a bitchy mode and the tiniest little things will irritate me. I know, surprising.. There goes my sweet & innocent status.
Dimples (formerly TheToddler, formerly BabyBug-- gosh ppl quit letting me name my kids things they will outgrow.. I think at almost 3, we are beyond Toddlerhood.. ugh. No more name changes- pinky promise) has been in Early Intervention since he was teeny tiny. He was a preemie, a drug baby and behind a bit.. Plus we have this unknown brain issue- that might not be an issue but could be so let's watch it because we aren't going to know how it affects him until it starts affecting him or not.
We only work with Developmental therapy because there are no OTs available in our area thru the EI program. For the past little while his DT & I have become concerned that he's not making any progress and seems to be stuck in limbo. So much so that DT will be ending very soon rather than write another ISP to make it til he's 3 because there is something else going on and the DT cannot get anywhere with him.
Now don't get me wrong- I agree with this. We haven't seen any progress since.. summer? and he doesn't cooperate with sessions because he's too busy and can't concentrate.
We are testing him for Developmental preschool and I have to think that if they go by the recent (early this month) EI eval, he'll get in. That eval team gave him a -2 deviation across the board (except gross motor). Not because he's not doing anything but because he's still doing the exact same things that he did last year & is now a year older which makes him score worse.
I have had many ideas tossed at me by various professionals - FAS? Autism? Sensory Issues?
I know he has sensory issues. It seems when most ppl look for sensory, they look for avoiders. The kids who can't touch certain textures or tags bother them ect. My kid is a seeker. He runs into walls on purpose and bounces off because he likes it. He is constantly running. I never set him down when we were out of the house because he WILL run and not stop. I could go on about his other issues but that's not really what I wanted to write about today.
So I got a referral for a private OT and Wednesday was our evaluation with her. She is reported to be a very good OT who specializes in kids with sensory issues. Great, right?
First impressions are important for many reasons and I'll just start by saying that my first impression of her was not the best.. She appeared friendly but a few things just rubbed me the wrong way.
While doing the interview portion- Dimples sat fairly quietly.. He colored on the folder I gave him (I was impressed with how long he sat and colored- world record for him!) and tried to get down a time or two but overall was very calm for him. She looked at me and said "Is he always like this?" Seriously?? He is being GOOD.. lol
Fishing Pole was with us & playing his leapster. Again for him, he was behaving very well. He did interrupt twice to ask me a question but I didn't feel he was being a pest at all. She immediately corrected him and told him firmly that he needed to sit there and be quiet like a big boy because we were very busy and his Mom didn't have time to talk with him while we had to do very important stuff. She then went and got him another toy to play with but something about the way she jumped on him irritated me.
Towards the end of our interview, she is talking about how she specializes in sensory issues and works with *these* kids all the time. I must have looked at her questioningly because she then clarified "Kids with autism or aspergers". Now right there I am pissed. I'm not saying Dimples doesn't have something like that (although very affectionate & eye contact seem to be against straight up Autism*) but seriously that is just something you don't do. You don't just automatically lump this child you just met into a group like that when you really know nothing much about him. Yes autistic kids do have sensory issues but just because you have sensory issues doesn't mean the kid is autistic.
So at this point she has irritated me 3 times. We moved onto the gym area because she wants to see him move. Dimples has decided pretty much he does NOT like her. Omg the meltdowns we had : ( She picked him up against his will several times. It was just too much- new place, this weird stranger grabbing him & trying to make him do things. Poor baby.. She then started in on discipline.
I'm sorry but this is my baby. Yes I'm probably in denial but still. I admit we don't have alot of success with discipline- nothing works for him. And at this point we aren't sure if he really understands when we try to explain things to him. He's very very active. He does throw things (all the time) but I truly don't feel he's "bad" or misbehaving on purpose. I think he's having fun (throwing gets him the sensory input that just setting something down doesn't) and occasionally frustrated. We practice redirection & if someone is hurt then he gets time-ins. Nothing really works at this point.
ugh.. I will give this new OT her shot. We will try several sessions to see if Dimples can adjust to her & begin to trust her a bit. We'll see if she can help because she's really the only one in our area right now. But I'm not looking forward to it. Not one bit.
* I am not saying that Dimples is or isn't on the Autism spectrum. He definitely has a few tendencies, however it was deeply offensive for a woman who had just spent 20mins sitting in a room with him to automatically lump him into a category like that would solve everything. I can only imagine how that would have affected another parent who perhaps hadn't researched everything To.Death. and was blindsided by this woman barely meeting your child & throwing out a scary diagnosis.
xoxo,
Well she already pissed me off and I wasn't even there. Anyone who works with "those kids" knows you don't put your hands all over a kid with ASD anyway. Whatever your son has going on, it sounds like she may have a hard time if he already does not like her.
ReplyDeleteWrong is wrong. It doesn't appear to me that you are in denial. You have fully accepted that he has some issues, it just may not necessarily be ASD. I wouldn't give her too long, keep shopping in the meantime. Essie is absolutely correct.
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