Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Some days life is just crap!

Life is crap lately. Completely in the shitter as the expression goes. If I didn't have my kids I'd probably be insane by now.. Ok that seems like an odd comment considering normally my kiddos can drive the sanest nun INSANE. But when life just takes a nosedive, it's the kids that keep you from completely plummeting.

I've put off posting about all this crap because honestly, I'm sure you dont want to hear it. Feel free to ignore this post because quite honestly I have a tendency to ramble & I'm sure I'll ramble endlessly while bitching and moaning about all the injustices.. eh well.. That's life right?

Where to begin? Updates! I'm still talking with the other state regarding Spoiled Princess' big sister. The whole situation was 'staffed' and it got nowhere. Basically I was told that at this time they can't tell me anything more BUT (gotta love those but's huh?!) if the case takes a turn to where Big sis will not be reunified with a parent (ie. termination of parental rights) then they will definitely contact me. And they have no problem with me calling or emailing to check in every so often & look forward to hearing from me in the coming months. Ok taken with a grain of salt, I get from that -TPR hasnt happened yet but hang around because it's probably going to in the coming months.. So I have a sort of timeframe, even though I have no real news in regards to that case- I feel better about it because I know there's nothing more I can do & I will just continue to email or call (with happily given permission) the supervisor once or twice a month to check in.. And keep my fingers crossed of course!

Then we have who I will from this point on out refer to as the Corrupt County.. I spoke with the director regarding Spoiled Princess' lil bro . I got nowhere talking to the supervisor, no where writing a letter to the judge (I'm not even sure if it's been heard or not) and when I spoke with the State Foster Care & Adoption Association- they let me know that Corrupt County has a new director & I should speak with her.. So I trot myself over there & sit down with her.. She took her time and spent well over an hour talking with me on the subject. She took lots of notes & seemed interested in everything and promised to look up policy & get back with me as soon as she could.. This was TWO and a Half weeks ago.. I've sent a nice friendly email "Just touching base" once a week and gotten no response.. now I know she's very busy with being the new director and all but come on- just give me a timeline of when I might know something and I'll get off your back! I just dont want to get lost in the shuffle. She went on about how she felt siblings should be together but then felt that by us writing to the judge we'd have no chance until TPR was done.. Make sense to you? yeah, me either..

I've played nice.

Unfortunately Corrupt County doesn't play by the same rules. I've had a few run-ins with Spoiled Princess' previous caseworker. Said caseworker (henceforth known as Psychotic CW) is very good friends with the current foster parents of Lil Bro-- do you get where I'm going with this?

She's been more and more openly hostile to me since I initially contacted the county & let them know we were interested in the placement. Friday it came to a T.. She was outright rude, unprofessional and juvenile! Here's what happened :

Setting : DCS office waiting room. There is a lovely glass partition between the waiting room & the receptionist. Kinda makes you feel like you're in jail talking thru this little window. There is a log in sheet on the counter at that window where birthparents (or visitors of other nature ) are required to sign in.

Every week we go there and sit to wait for Drool Prince's birthmom to show up for her visit (or not show as seems to be her choice lately). Ironically Lil Bro has visits with his birth parents right before Drool Prince's visit. So for the past month or so, we're sitting in the waiting room , waiting for Lil Bro's birthparents to vacate the visit room & leave so Drool Prince can go back with his birthmom for their visit. At this particular visit, birthmom decided not to show up. So we sat there waiting the required 15mins before we could leave. I decided to go up to the window and chat with one of the girls that I'm on friendly terms with.

We discussed things like how big Drool Prince was getting, spring break ect. I happened to notice an infant seat sitting on the desk there and said : Awww, is the baby here today? (note, I knew darn well he was there as his birthparents had signed in less than an hour before)

Friendly girl hemmed and hawed a bit & said she thought it was a new baby not the one I was talking about.. But had I seen him lately? OMG he's soo cute!

I told her that I hadn't seen him EVER and was just chatting about how apparently the caseworkers had decided I was a babystealer & always made sure to not let me get a glimpse of them. There was even this one incidence where the foster mom came to pick him up & I was still there (Drool Prince got into his visit late). I left to sit in the car & wait out the remaining 30mins b/c honestly where can I go and get back in that short of a time .. plus I had a good book in the car & a video for Spoiled Princess. Fostermom came out of the office without the baby.. I remember thinking- hmm that's odd.. why would you come pick up your fosterchild & then leave without them.. Ohh well , and back to my book. A few minutes later she drove past me again from the alley beside the office & now the baby was in the car.. YES they went so far as to have her pick him up at the backdoor so I wouldn't see him! Like I'm some kind of freakin baby stealer .. As I was telling Friendly girl this, she and I both laughed and said Yeah like I'm gonna say MY BABY..

Moments later Psychotic CW burst into the reception room (behind the glass from me) and started screaming at me. I wasn't allowed to ask anything about the baby b/c of confidentiality rules.

When I responded that I hadn't asked anything about him (sure I asked if he was there but it was more of a rhetorical question since I knew he was.. duh) she started screaming that she heard me call him MY BABY and HE"S NOT YOUR BABY..
Then she stomped out of the room before I could respond.

You should have seen the anger in her face. Honestly I was in shock. Friendly girl was like omg, you did nothing to deserve that. I ended up leaving without saying anything else about it because quite honestly I about burst into tears. Call me a wimp, whatever, I'm not used to people treating me like that.. I'm the nice one that everyone likes.. lol.

After a while I started to get pissed.. How DARE she talk to me like that. How dare she do that in public (yes I have a witness to the whole episode). I'm sure she went and complained to everyone in the office about how I was doing this crap and calling Lil Bro 'my baby' when Hello stupid witch, I wasn't..

I guess I haven't let go of the anger yet. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about it yet. I think I have to bring it up to the director if only to let her know my side of the story -how Psychotic CW overheard bits and pieces of a private conversation and jumped in to scream at me without giving me a chance to defend myself. I honestly don't think we'll ever get Lil Bro placed with us b/c Psychotic CW will do everything in her power to make sure it doesn't happen.. It's depressing and infuriating because I did nothing wrong..

It also worries me that Psychotic CW will try to do something to screw up Drool Prince's adoption or the placement of his sibling just to get even.. Sadly she's in charge of adoptions and I'm going to try my best to refuse to work with her..

Believe you-me, I will be calling her out on this crap the next time I see her.. I'm not going to stand for her thinking she can treat me like that- rude wench anyway!

Oddly (enough to toss just a bit more paranoid worry my way) I had a monthly visit from one of the caseworkers today. They have to do a face to face with the fosterchild in their home monthly- so no biggie.. Except.. she brought along the supervisor.. I can't tell you how freaked out I was when I opened the door to both of them.. I've never heard of the supervisor coming along. In fact this certain caseworker has nothing to do with Drool Prince's case, she only does the home visits because she lives fairly close.. So in order for the caseworker to come, she would have had to drive 30mins to work and then 30mins back to my house.. WEIRD.. but nothing happened while they were here.. Not sure I'll sit easy til the adoption is over and done with though..

Off to hunt an adoption attorney NOW!

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