A vent. #fostercare

It has been a good long while since I've talked about the drama that is foster care.  Beware- this post will most likely turn into a giant vent and  I cannot be held responsible for the word that may come out of my fingers.. If you are not a foster parent or have never dealt with DCS, you might just want to go wander somewhere else.. Here- go look at my mail goodies..


Alright- foster parents still reading?

Brief recap--

Spoiled Princess & Southern Darlin' are full siblings ( same bmom, same bdad).

They have 2 half siblings courtesy of bio-dad & his new wife.  Those half brothers were taken into care at birth and given adopted by another foster family (despite our attempts at getting them placed with us so the sibs could be together).  I don't worry about the boys, they are adopted into a seemingly fit family and that family wanted absolutely no contact.
They have 2 half siblings courtesy of bio-mom and new boyfriends.   These half sibs are still with bio-mom, or where ever she chooses to leave them.  DCS is not involved..   Due to bmom's criminal record, mental health issues and drug use- the Big State where we adopted Southern Darlin' from was more than a little concerned that our home state's DCS was not involved.  But what can you do?

Today's post vent is all about bmom..

Bmom and I had contact for a while.  She had supposedly cleaned up and was doing well.  One thing lead to another and she fell off the wagon and we lost contact.  Prior to that time, I happened to come in contact with her at-the-time husband's mother. Let's call her "Gma D".  

Gma D has been a blessing.  Although I have never met Bmom's younger girls (K & D) , I have always worried about them.  After all, they are my daughter's siblings.  In the same way that I worried about Southern Darlin' long before I'd ever met her, I loved her upon knowing of her existence simply due to her being Spoiled Princess' sister.   Gma D has kept me occasionally updated with pictures and how the younger girls are doing.  It is much more than I could ever hope for.   A few times a year, we email pictures of our respective girls back and forth and send updates.  Gma D & I both wish that my girls & the little girls could have some sort of contact but it's not something that can be worked out at this time.

So the other day, out of the blue I received a text from Gma D.   Bmom is back in jail.  Now I used to be pretty diligent on keeping track of both sets of kids bparents and their jail activity.  In the recent past, I gave up.  They do not want contact with me and the kids, and I am tired of tracking them thru prison websites.  Do I wish things would change? Absolutely!  I loved being able to have contact with the bparents but it's not something I can force and I'm tired of being the one to do all the work.   So ,anyway, back to my point.. lol.  Gma D let me know that Bmom was back in jail - she had one of the little girls and the other is with another family member.. It's sad that they were split up just because they have different dads :(   Immediately I looked it up on my trusty criminal websites and boom there she is - back in jail for possession.  Not a big surprise but still that little hope that maybe she'll get and stay clean is extinguished.

And then the bomb is dropped.  Bmom is pregnant.. again.  The girls will have a new 1/2 sibling out there floating around only God knows where.  According to Gma D, DCS won't do anything and knowing the county (corrupt city) she's in, I don't doubt it one bit.   My heart aches again for another baby who will be neglected by the system that is supposed to protect him.

All this drama makes me tired.   I guess I should be happy that my kids are safe and happy but it's hard not to worry about their siblings.

Foster care sucks sometimes.