Ch-Ch-Ch- Changes...

Southern Darlin's therapist always tells me that I think like a shrink.. Who knew? Yet another profession I missed out on.  I tend to agree with her. I can usually analyze things and come up with the same reasoning that she would come up with on why Southern Darlin' or Fishing Pole are acting a certain way.  What makes them tick the way they do.

So it's probably shouldn't be a surprise that I am sitting here psycho analyzing myself.

Life is always complicated.

In some ways, things are settling down.

Drama Queen finally has reached a point in her life that she can let go of the cattiness of teenage girls and has a nice group of real friends.  In fact, for the first time ever she had a huge sleepover (4 girlfriends-- ahhhh!!) whereas before she was "embarrassed" of our large crazy family.   She's settling in and becoming more confident of who she is.

Attitude King finally has that close BFF (although I'm sure guys don't call it that.. whatever..), the one that I always wanted him to have.  The one where they seem to be together every.single.weekend either at his house or ours.   They are buddies!   Attitude King reminds me of myself in school.  I could make lots of friends, no one actively disliked me but I didn't have a lot of super close friends.

Southern Darlin' finally has an IEP in place for the remainder of this year and next.  I finally managed to get her the help she needs in school.  She's bonding & really doing well emotionally.

Spoiled Princess gets overlooked a lot.  She is probably the child who is most like me (which given she's adopted is rather ironic).   She is a pleaser.  She is the perfect child because she doesn't want to disappoint anyone.  She is doing Great in school.  She has no real medical issues. She has 2 BFFs in her class.  She rarely if ever gets in trouble and for a family full of behaviour problems, medical problems & school issues - I feel like she doesn't get talked about a lot here.. She's just happy. ♥

Things are calming down around here on those fronts. I seem to thrive on chaos.. When things get too quiet, I want to pull more in.  Maybe we need another foster baby.  Or oooh I need a KITTEN!!  please! Please! PLEASE!!   Luckily for me, Daddy Chaos knows that the calm only happens before the storm and he's smart enough to hold me off on adding something too quickly.

The storm has hit..

Fishing Pole needs his adenoids out (long story) and as I should know by now, nothing is ever simple with FP.   We went to meet with the dr who did Dimple's T&A surgery two years ago and it was quickly discovered that adenoids removal with a pacemaker is a bit more complicated.   Something about the electrical currents that go thru the body while they are cauterizing can screw up implanted electronical devices.. Great.   And so we are now being referred down to the Children's hospital where we normally get everything for him done.

Joy.

We finally saw the neurologist for Dimples.  I had this huge list of questions/problems/concerns to go over but all I got to do was hand him the last two EI evals and mention that no progress had been made in the past year - he immediately looked over his notes and decided to send us to the Children's hospital to a Developmental Pediatrician for some neuro-genetic testing.. While I'm happy with the referral, I'm a more than a little sad that yet again we are at the point that this dr who I love feels Dimples needs something more than he can offer.  Don't get me wrong, he was very kind but sometimes having a dr be sympathetic to you is more than you can handle.   My special needs moms will understand that, I think.

In the past few days, I have spent all blessed day on the phone with various drs.  Trying to get Fishing Pole scheduled for this surgery.. Trying to round up records to get sent down to Children's for Dimples.  It's crazy.  It's hectic.

And yet now we come to the reason I'm psycho-analyzing myself.   I want to move.  1100 miles away.   I have been finding houses, finding jobs for Daddy Chaos, looking at schools. I have good logical reasons for wanting to move and yet I sit here and wonder if I'm not really just trying to run away from it all.  If I really think that moving to an area so vastly different than where I am now will make everything ok.  Naturally I know it won't.   I don't think this is a solution to anything.  Still I worry that there might be hidden motives.  Hidden so that I don't even realize them and I'll uproot everyone and realize too late that it was for the wrong reasons.

I think the only way to solve this is to make a pros and cons list.. Naturally I'll share with you and I expect you to jump in and tell me where I'm being unrealistic.  Tell me where I'm just being plum crazy too.  Maybe once it's down on paper , I'll be able to figure out if it's just be trying to bring more chaos into an already full life or if it's something that will truly benefit us all in the long run..


                  xoxo,