Southern Darlin' had some problems in kindergarten. We went back and forth over whether to hold her back or let her go on to 1st grade. Finally in Feb. we got her on medication for her ADHD & anxiety which gave us a changed kid! No more of the screaming and refusing to get out of the car. Her reading finally improved and she got moved out of the bottom group. After some discussion with her kindy teacher, we all agreed that she was ready to move onto 1st grade.
So here we are at mid-term in her 1st grade year. She did great all summer but as soon as school started there was acting out. I knew her meds needed upping but her teacher initially thought it would be ok and it was just 'back to school syndrome' that most kids get. I knew better but Dr. Crazy won't up the meds if the teacher says everything's going ok. What does a mom know after all?
Several weeks ago her teacher contacted me. It appears Southern Darlin' was not settling into class. She is not staying in her seat, she's copying off of others' work, talking excessively and just fidgeting. Worse news is that she has not made any progress so far in 1st grade and has in fact went back a bit. :(
Today a conference is set up with the principal, her teacher & the school counselor about getting her some testing. I pushed for an IEP in Kindergarten and was told 'it wasn't done'. I am asking again. We have her ADHD diagnosis as well as her ARND (alcohol related neurological deficits - an off shoot of FAS but not enough physical features to get a FAS dx) diagnosis.. I'm sorry but I would think that the two of those combined (and documented by drs) would get us an IEP.
Everyday on the way to school (I drive them), I always say "YAY! School time!" cuz I'm all cheesy like that :)
Normally, the kids all agree and cheer "YAY! School!" and then tell me something they're looking forward to today (even if it's just what they're having for lunch.. lol).
All week Southern Darlin' has said "Boo!! I don't want to go. School is boring!!"
So we talked about how you have to go to school to learn. Learning is fun and even if you just want to grow up to be a princess (her current life goal) then you still have to learn and be smart because Princesses are super smart and know all kinds of things.
Still we got to school today and it happened. The thing I've been dreading since she did it over and over again last year. She refused to get out of the car. She crossed her little arms and said "No! I am not getting out!"
Now remember, I drive a monster van. Which means to get to her seat and drag her out (which I've had to do in the past), I have to climb over two rows of seats. I'm sure it's a highly amusing sight to watch Momma unbuckle her seatbelt and proceed to climb over two rows of seats to get an uncooperative child out of her seat. Naturally, as soon as I climbed back there she jumped up, grabbed her backpack and hopped out of the van.
She got out of the van, let Spoiled Princess out and then tried to climb right back in again. Uhmm no dearie.. Get your hiney out of my van and go to school. * Lest you think I'm a mean ass Momma who cares not a bit for her kiddos, let me explain that Southern Darlin' did this quite a bit last year at school. I had the principal drag her kicking and screaming from the van, I walked her to her room & had her teacher hold her there so I could escape (otherwise she'd come running after me) and after a few minutes she was always fine.*
The principal was there - silly man always seems to appear at MY van to help the kids out of it and close the door, he must sense the crazy?! I informed him (he's new this year) that she's a "runner" and he might want to watch her til she gets inside. He held her hand and chatted with both girls as he walked them to the school.
As I'm pulling away, I'm also watching in my mirror just in case I need to stop.
My girl gives it her best. She pulls hard as she can and in the end, Mr.Principal had to pick her up to get her the last few steps. I hope his shins don't hurt too bad because I saw quite a few kicks that I think landed.
Now I fully believe that she was just fine once she got inside. It's a power struggle but once she's inside she gives up and normally has a really good day.
I'm actually thankful that it happened today of all days.
Today -the day that I have that special meeting with everyone over the help Southern Darlin' needs.
Southern Darlin' is normally the adorable little girl with cute little quirks that everyone laughs at and lets her get her way. Very rarely do they see the defiance and manipulation. I think seeing her this way this morning will cement into his head how much she truly is struggling in school that she doesn't even want to go anymore. I'm hoping it will help him fight with me instead of against me for the help she needs.
Wish me luck and if anyone has any IEP advice- spill it to me quick! Meeting is after school today! :)
By federal law, they are REQUIRED to do testing if a parent requests an IEP or 504 plan. My biggest suggestion would be to request an "SST" (I don't remember what that stands for) meeting IN WRITING! Copy in the district's (not just the school's) special education services person. The key to the process, besides the academic performance, is the documentation of behavior. KEEP EVERYTHING sliver of everything...emails, written notes, EVERYTHING! If it doesn't happen the first or even the second time, keep pursuing it. I recently wrote a little something on my blog about it, but there isn't much information there.
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