Wednesday, July 1, 2009

The Meeting Pt. 2

O.M.G! After days of trying to post (and being unsuccessful in getting blogger to get past the "create post" key) I am just about ready to scream bloody murder! However, I finally got in (woohoo!) and can now post the rest of the story!!

Soo when we left off , we had just arrived (on time, naturally) at the foster home. Daddy Chaos went up to the door to verify the Adoption worker was there while I got all the kiddos unbuckled. As we were walking up the sidewalk, Southern Darlin' came running out of the house to give Spoiled Princess a big hug and then ran back inside. I soo wish I had my camera ready to capture that moment! Spoiled Princess turned to me grinning and said "Mommy, Southern Darlin' LIKES me!!" It was tooo sweet!

We all went inside and basically all the kids went upstairs to play almost immediately.. lol. We sat down and talked with the adoption worker and fostermom. On occasion the kids would all drift downstairs and say hi. It was cute :) The casefile was not ready for us to view as planned so we made plans to pick it up the following week. The adoption worker said we'd just go on Southern Darlin's wishes on how long to spend together. If she wanted to spend the nite some nite that was fine with her.

Once the adoption worker left, we started getting around to leave as well (about an hour later) . We discussed taking Southern Darlin' out for lunch to which Fostermom immediately piped in and asked her if she didn't want to just go ahead and spend the nite with her sister tonite? Uhmm, ok.. Like I explained in my previous post I had a bit of a fantasy on how I expected the visitation to go.. That went right up in smoke. Fostermom seemed to want to cut ties almost immediately. When we arrived, she had all of Southern Darlin's stuff sitting in trash bags & boxes by the door and pushed us to go ahead and take it that first day. We declined since we were sure that Southern Darlin' would want to come back that nite (come on, who wouldn't? lol).

So we all piled back into the van +1 kiddo. Fostermom came out to say good bye and teared up a bit. Southern Darlin' could have cared less.. She called Goodbye old mommy!! I'm going to my new mommy's house now!! Whether she was really well prepared for the transition or has a bit radish in her- I'm not really sure but thus began our week as a family of 8.

Our very first nite, Southern Darlin' was very confused. She's a literal child. When we talked about going to Applebees for lunch she wasn't sure she liked that but agreed to go. Once inside, I asked her what she wanted after naming off the kids meals. She insisted that she wanted apples b/c we were at Applebees and that's what they must have.. lol. She also kept asking if we were lost and couldn't find our way home b/c we went to the hotel to stay. In her mind, she was coming to our house now not just a visit, so I guess maybe that wasn't explained to her too well?

She was a bit sad that first nite and we called her fostermom (old mommy as she refers to her) to chat for a minute or two and promised to go there for a visit the next morning. Although we repeatedly offered to take her back home and pick her up the next morning she adamently refused to leave us and was determined that she was going to stay with "ya'll" now.

Saturday morning dawned and we went back to the foster home for a visit. She breezed in, said hi to the old mommy and then insisted that we pack all her stuff into our van b/c she didn't want to leave it behind. Foster mom commented that she would not have brought her all the way over for a visit (hindsight, she didn't pay any attention to fostermom anyway so it really was pointless but still!) and we should just have her call if she misses her. She said that Southern Darlin' was going to have to get used to it and she'd be fine. Now I'm not trying to make fostermom sound bad. I am sure that she is a very nice lady and cared for Southern Darlin' wonderfully. I do feel that she's already detaching and trying to make a clean break. When I tried to put myself in her shoes , I just couldn't imagine handling things quite the same way but we are different people.

The rest of the week went well. We had our first meltdown after going to CPS to pick up the file. Honestly I had expected it b/c visits or anything remind them of visits trigger my kids as well. After the first nite, Southern Darlin' did not ask for fostermom again. After a few days, as we talked about going back to the foster home- she got upset talking about it and was insistent that she was coming home with us and NOT going back to her old house anymore. Poor baby cried and cried the nite before she was due back to her foster home :( To her credit- the adoption worker did try to get permission for her to drive back home with us but it is against "best practice" policy and denied. After lots of talking and building up going home for the goodbye party Fostermom had planned for her, Southern Darlin' woke up Friday morning in a good mood. She marched into her foster house that morning and announced to "old mommy" that she was going to stay with her for a 'few seconds' and then fly on an airplane to her new mommy's house! Lol! :)

Last nite, after a few minor incidents including : an escalator trying to eat my precious new little one therefore missing the initial flight and having to take a later flight that included a layover and switching of planes-which resulted in a nice meltdown that the CW finally got to experience when the stewardess had the NERVE to take away cups and trash prior to landing! whew.. Finally, Southern Darlin' with a very flustered CW arrived at our local airport! We picked her up at the airport and had the CW follow us home to do the once over of the house and sign all the paperwork.. CW actually asked us if we were "sure" we really wanted to do this.. lol. I think the meltdown has scarred her for life and she was pretty eager to get out of here. I guess it's a good thing that Drool Prince has broke me in on tantrums so far huh?!

In the end, I'm sure there will be a little adjustment period and some testing of the limits (she seems to think tv should be on cartoons (toon toons) 24/7 and fostermom admits that she lets her do this-- uhmm not here honey) we'll all be fine. The good news is that she fits right into the family. I'll keep you updated on how things progress in the next few weeks (if Blogger isn't a pita again!)! I am having a hard time believing that she's finally here! After all these years, she's here...

2 comments:

  1. So glad for the update!

    My! Things didn't go as planned did they? Glad they went so well though!

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  2. Yahoo! Glad your new addition is FINALLY home!

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