And that's how the fight started..

You may have seen these before somewhere but I just ran across them for the first time and got a giggle so I figured I'd share with you ::


One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, he didn't buy her a
gift. When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started.....


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My wife walked into the den & asked "What's on the TV?" I replied "Dust". And
that's how the fight started.....

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A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and
ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.' And that's how
the fight started.....


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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200
in about 3 seconds. I bought her a scale. And that's how the fight started.....


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I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?' It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?' And that's when the fight started....


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My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?' 'No,' she answered. I then
said, 'Is that your final answer?' She didn't even look at me this time, simply
saying 'Yes.' So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.' And that's when the fight
started....


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When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.
So, I took her to a gas station. And that's when the fight started.....


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I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she
bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look
better at night than the cold cream. And that's when the fight started.....


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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after
we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my
wife.. 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And
that's when the fight started......

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I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and
slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just
get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't
believe it. He was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me,
and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well,
then which one are you?' And that's when the fight started.....


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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order
for herself.' And that's when the fight started.....