Thursday, July 10, 2008

Hypocrites!

A friend of a my mom (so what is that, an aquaintance?) recently became a foster parent. When she was going thru the training, my mom exchanged our emails so I could tell her what it was really like ect.. For today, let's call her Snooty Sally.

Now mind you, I've had plenty of run-in's with DCS and have become a bit more jaded than my normal happy go lucky self. Still I do love fostering, just have learned to be more careful and watch my back around DCS. So I was happy to chat with someone new coming into the 'family'.

We exchanged pleasantries and she asked a few basic questions-
What ages do you take?
How long did the entire process take before you got a placement?

I should note that I foster directly for the county so I deal weekly (daily at times) with the county DCS. Snooty Sally was going to foster thru an agency (read: better pay, harder to place kids- although they also get run off when the county is just full and in our area the county doesn't have many homes).

I answered her questions honestly - we only take newborns -2yo and I explained to her why we felt that way. It fits in our family, no competition for the older kids & we all love babies. It works for us.

Of course this got Snooty Sally up onto her high horse. She was taking older kids because that is what is needed. The state needs families who are willing to take older children because everyone wants the babies. I pointed out that Snooty Sally's children are all fully grown, her youngest in the house is 17yo. So it's great that she's able to take the older kids, maybe one day we will be able to do that too..

After that interaction, I didn't email her again. Whatever, she really didn't want to hear what it's like and preferred to preach to me about how I should be taking the older kids vs the little ones that I take.. I don't need that crap~ whatever !

So it amused me that when she got her first placement a month or so ago, mom called me up giggling.
Mom: Guess what! Snooty Sally is getting her first placement!! 3yo & 1.5yo brothers!
Me: What? What happened to her 'older kids'??
(yeah I'm snotty like that sometimes, that lady rubbed me wrong)
So we giggled over the fact that she was exhausted , unprepared and in over her head. It'd been eons since she'd had kids that age and she didn't even have carseats.. lol! They did fine with them after getting the hang of it again and those kiddos were reunified.

So today I got another email from mom.. Guess who's getting a NEWBORN today?..
Ok now wait a minute? This from the woman that lectured me on taking little ones.. I gave her the first placement as a fluke- who can turn down your first placement call even if it isn't in the age group you originally wanted? Come on, it's hard! But now she's taking a newborn (supposedly long term placement) & is already adamantly proclaiming that she is NOT going to be adopting.. A small part of me is almost jealous- but since I'm not sleeping thru the nite with Baby Bug yet, I guess I can't be too jealous of another newborn.. A large part of me wants to write her a congrats letter on the new placement and somehow remind her of that lovely lecture on foster parents that take little kids vs the older ones.. Live and learn Snooty Sally..

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