Friday, March 6, 2015

Good Mom or Bad Mom?

Being a good mother is something I think we all strive to be. With some kids, it's easy.  They are people pleasers and always try to do whatever it is to make you happy.  I was one of those kids and I have one of those kids.   With others, it's not so easy.

Do I think I am a good mother?  Yes, and no.  I am a good mother to 5 out of  6 of my kids.  I have 1 kid who maybe I am not the best mother for him, but I am the mother that he got. This one knows how to push every single button that I possess and knows how to make me angry in 2 seconds flat. Is it his fault? Is it mine?  I think we both share that responsibility but he's a child so it falls to me.  Does that make it any easier to parent him?  No.  I love him to bits and pieces but that love doesn't make it easier to deal with certain behaviors.

I am not the slightest bit surprised that I was yelled at this morning:

I don't like you at all! You are a mean awful mom.

That's okay. You don't have to like me. I still love you even when I'm angry with your behaviors.

Well I don't love you!  You are the worst mom ever!

 Now here we are an hour later and he's wanting to show me his drawings. So yeah, I know his words were in anger and it's typical for a kid to lash out.  I've already heard the dreaded "I wish you had never adopted me!" as well.

Knowing that a lot of behaviors are impulses that he can't control (oh please new ADHD meds, please work!) and he realizes later that it was a bad choice and some times a dangerous choice (lighting things on fire in his room - not the best choice).  While we deal with each behavior as it happens, I feel many times like I am always yelling.  I'm sure he feels the same way.

As a mom to 6 kids, always yelling seems pretty typical. Someone is probably misbehaving at one point, but sadly in my house it's the 1 kid 90% of the time.  Sure I try to pick my battles but with a kid who never learns from his mistakes but does the same thing over and over, it's getting more and more difficult.

Am I a good mom?  Sometimes.

*I wrote this two weeks ago and never hit publish for some reason.  Bad blogger. lol*

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