Do I think I am a good mother? Yes, and no. I am a good mother to 5 out of 6 of my kids. I have 1 kid who maybe I am not the best mother for him, but I am the mother that he got. This one knows how to push every single button that I possess and knows how to make me angry in 2 seconds flat. Is it his fault? Is it mine? I think we both share that responsibility but he's a child so it falls to me. Does that make it any easier to parent him? No. I love him to bits and pieces but that love doesn't make it easier to deal with certain behaviors.
I am not the slightest bit surprised that I was yelled at this morning:
I don't like you at all! You are a mean awful mom.
That's okay. You don't have to like me. I still love you even when I'm angry with your behaviors.
Well I don't love you! You are the worst mom ever!
Now here we are an hour later and he's wanting to show me his drawings. So yeah, I know his words were in anger and it's typical for a kid to lash out. I've already heard the dreaded "I wish you had never adopted me!" as well.
Knowing that a lot of behaviors are impulses that he can't control (oh please new ADHD meds, please work!) and he realizes later that it was a bad choice and some times a dangerous choice (lighting things on fire in his room - not the best choice). While we deal with each behavior as it happens, I feel many times like I am always yelling. I'm sure he feels the same way.
As a mom to 6 kids, always yelling seems pretty typical. Someone is probably misbehaving at one point, but sadly in my house it's the 1 kid 90% of the time. Sure I try to pick my battles but with a kid who never learns from his mistakes but does the same thing over and over, it's getting more and more difficult.
Am I a good mom? Sometimes.
*I wrote this two weeks ago and never hit publish for some reason. Bad blogger. lol*