So my friends, I have been holding back. Hoping it would pass and I could write about it easier once it was over with. Unfortunately it's been 3 months now and still not passing.
Fishing Pole (7) has always had phases.. Since he was at least 3, he has went thru spells - where he is just out of control behavior wise.. Not at all himself.. This kid is an absolute sweetheart with the biggest heart out there. He always thinks of his siblings and if he's at Cowie's he'll bring home something for them ect.. If he has any money to spend, he always tries to buy something for his siblings too. He's very loving..
And then he falls into the "bad" phase. Normally it doesn't last more than a month but this is the worst we've ever encountered. My sweet, loving boy has switched into an angry, defiant kid. He's struggling at school - with behavior, getting work done, basically everything. We tried to hold out knowing that it shouldn't be long until he would switch back to his normal self but apparently this time we aren't going to be quite as lucky..
Honestly, I have no clue what is actually bugging him- I do know that it's much worse during the school week vs weekends. He says he hates school now and I've had days where I have had to literally drag him out of the car and into the building.
It all started with a 'flare' from his dysautonomia - or at least that's what I am guessing.. Lots of pain, brain fog , ect.. I could understand being grumpy & not wanting to go to school feeling like that. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you view it, the chronic pain went away after about a month but the behaviour got worse instead of better.
The absolute worst day was the day he screamed over and over that he wanted to die. He wanted to kill himself. I remember thinking- come on, he's 7.. but on the other hand, omg- what is so wrong in my baby's mind that he would rather die than be here with us?
We are starting play therapy and hoping to get into see a psych soon to see what other dx he might have (adhd? anxiety? depression?) and just praying that we can get the help he needs to let him be that sweet little boy that I know is hiding inside.. I miss that little boy.
Most days I think I handle it pretty well, and try to remain calm while he's screaming at me what a horrible mom I am, how much he hates me ect.. Today was not one of those days. I may have yelled back, I know I said things that I regret and apologized for. I am the adult and can't always hold my temper, how can I expect him to?
If you have advice, ideas or heck even want to point me in a direction that might help- I'm always willing to listen. I'm pretty much ready to try anything right now. I miss my boy.