Fifteen

I know I say this every single year.

It's hard for me to wrap it around my brain that a whole 'nother year has passed.  

I still clearly remember being pregnant with you and trying every wives tale in the book to get your stubborn little butt to come out!

10days late ~ you had to show me even then who was boss. 

You were my first. 

The one I got to make all my mistakes on. 

Sorry! 

When you were born, Daddy & I were still young ourselves.  I know, I know.. hard to imagine right? 

We grew up together quite a bit.

I want to grab you and squish you back down into that little girl that still idolized me and missed her daddy so much when he was away.  The little girl that would look up into the skies and wave madly yelling "HI Daddy! I miss you!! Come home" to any airplane that passed overhead because she knew that her daddy was in the AirForce. 

Instead we're at the ying/yang stage.  

Some days we are so close !! {{{Squeeeze}}}

Other days your hormones take over and I want to duct tape your mouth shut and lock you in your room until you're old enough to not mouth off again!

I know that at this stage in your life, we parents know nothing. We make up stupid rules just to piss you off (and no you cannot say piss.. because I said so.. I don't care if I just said it, I'm the mom and I can say whatever I want.  Shut it.) but we really make them because we love you and are trying to protect you.   Just wait til you have kids. 

There are soo many things I could tell you right now.  

Things I wish I could go back and tell myself at this age.

Instead I'll let someone you might actually listen to tell you for me :

That is my song for you this year. It plays on my phone whenever you call me to remind me that you are now Fifteen.  So close to being grown and and no longer little.   Listen to it, remember it.

Remember that right now everything seems important!  But when you look back it will seem trivial. 

Most of all, remember that you are my first.  I made my mistakes with you but I also learned how to love with you. 

XOXOXOXO,

Your Momma