Our dear friends from Chicago came to visit.. You know, the ones that I was a surrogate for. They are a beautiful family of four.
Their oldest daughter has the same name as Drama Queen which confused Spoiled Princess to absolutely NO END.. That was her sister's name, how can this other girl have the same name? It is Not possible! Ironically she had absolutely no problem calling both sisters (our friends' children) by the same name.
Their younger daughter (who I carried) is now 4. Just 7months older than Spoiled Princess. It was soo sweet to watch them play together- BFF!!
The kids all played wonderfully together and us adults had a great time too :) Baby Bug was even generous in sleeping 4 full hrs last nite (for Daddy Chaos b/c HELLO, I don't do weekend duty too! Lol!) .
As I looked at the adorable Dilly (our nickname that we chose for her while pregnant), I wonder if there's something wrong with me. I love her as what she is- a dear friend's daughter. Shouldn't I feel something a bit more? More of a connection to this child that I carried for almost 10months? The child that made me puke so much that I lost 10lbs in the first 3months.. The child that I went thru countless shots with BIG (and I mean BIG) needles in the tooshie for?
People who know I've been a surrogate always ask- How could you do that? Was it hard to give the baby up?
And I've always been able to honestly answer no- it's not my baby to keep. I didn't give her up, I gave her back to her parents. Seeing her again reminds me of how true it is and not just words I spout out to make people feel comfortable. She never was my child, I just carried her for 10months. It was a wonderful experience and I cherish the memories of it but it's so unlike carrying your own child b/c that's the end. Sure I see her a few times a year when we all get together but it's nothing the same as your own children that the birth is just the beginning of the lifelong relationship.
Ok I've babbled myself into a corner & have nowhere to go from here.. Seeing the happy family makes me want to do it all over again though.. To have & completely your own family is a wonderful thing.. To help someone else create/complete their family & get to watch that family grow is nothing short of wonderful in it's own way.
That's a pretty amazing thing to do, carry a baby for someone else. I had three birth children and loved the process of pregnancy and birth, but not sure I could have done it for someone else. Guess I never gave it much thought, as it's not even legal here in Australia. If it's done at all, it's kept pretty quiet. I have a million and one questions, but they sort of need to be casually discussed over a cup of coffee, and I'm a long way away. Suffice to say I admire you for it, especially as you're even considering it again!
ReplyDeleteJanine -
ReplyDeleteHey if I ever come to Australia (always wanted to) we can definitely do a coffee chat :) Til then feel free to email me anytime (canate@verizon.net) if you wanna chat more! I love to talk about surrogacy :)