Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Birth certificate Controversy

There's been quite a bit of controversy lately on whether adoptees should be allowed access to their birth records in order to find their biological parents, first parents, birth parents- whatever you want to call them. I recently read an article which made me think about it even more. Naturally I'm going to be interested in the topic since Spoiled Princess is adopted and Drool Prince is on his way. Their cases are very different though.

Drool Prince's adoption will be more of an open adoption (at least in regards to his biological dad) so he will always have a face to put with the name and his own personal story. I firmly believe that adoption is not something to be hidden. It makes much more sense to me to have my youngest two always know that they're adopted (more in a sense that it's part of their birth story vs to make them different) so that they are comfortable with it and it's not something that they find out accidentally or is sprung on them in the teens. I have a copy of Drool Prince's original birth certificate which I will put away til he's much older and if he asks , he can see it.

However the story with Spoiled Princess is quite different. I have nothing from her biological parents. She was a foster child (so yes she was forceably taken away from her parents- not surrendered willingly and placed for adoption) I suppose this makes our situation a bit different from normal adoptions. I have no pictures of her biological parents (my bad, who was I to know that they would disappear so quickly?) and did not think of getting a copy of her birth certificate until I was given the chance to get a copy of Drool Prince's. Imagine my dismay when I contacted the court house to ask for a copy of her original birth certicate (we had already adopted at the time) only to be told that it no longer EXISTS!?!?! What? How can this crucial piece of her history just be wiped clean?? While I love the fact that my name is on her birth certificate, it's very deceiving.. I did not give birth to her, yet to look at her birth certificate Daddy Chaos & I are her biological parents. It says no where that she's adopted and unfortunately there's no longer a record of her original certificate. It dumbfounds me that the slate could be wiped clean so completely. I suppose this is wonderful for the type of adoptive parents that wish to never tell their child and pretend that their biological parents never existed( if they even still exist?), yet seems very unfair to the child in the long run.

**My feelings may be different from a lot of adoptive parents as I am not infertile and never really planned to adopt. My adoptions sort of fell in my lap (please dont hate me, I love my children very much just wasn't out seeking them) and so perhaps I don't feel quite the need that I've seen in some adoptive parents to deny there was ever a moment of life before I came into theirs. I think I've rambled on long enough. This is a very touchy subject to all involved. So what do you think? Should adoptee's be allowed access to their original birth records or should they be sealed? And realistically is it morally right for a state to just make up details of a person's birth by outright deleting an original birth certificate once adopted?

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