The Meeting Pt. 2

O.M.G! After days of trying to post (and being unsuccessful in getting blogger to get past the "create post" key) I am just about ready to scream bloody murder! However, I finally got in (woohoo!) and can now post the rest of the story!!

Soo when we left off , we had just arrived (on time, naturally) at the foster home. Daddy Chaos went up to the door to verify the Adoption worker was there while I got all the kiddos unbuckled. As we were walking up the sidewalk, Southern Darlin' came running out of the house to give Spoiled Princess a big hug and then ran back inside. I soo wish I had my camera ready to capture that moment! Spoiled Princess turned to me grinning and said "Mommy, Southern Darlin' LIKES me!!" It was tooo sweet!

We all went inside and basically all the kids went upstairs to play almost immediately.. lol. We sat down and talked with the adoption worker and fostermom. On occasion the kids would all drift downstairs and say hi. It was cute :) The casefile was not ready for us to view as planned so we made plans to pick it up the following week. The adoption worker said we'd just go on Southern Darlin's wishes on how long to spend together. If she wanted to spend the nite some nite that was fine with her.

Once the adoption worker left, we started getting around to leave as well (about an hour later) . We discussed taking Southern Darlin' out for lunch to which Fostermom immediately piped in and asked her if she didn't want to just go ahead and spend the nite with her sister tonite? Uhmm, ok.. Like I explained in my previous post I had a bit of a fantasy on how I expected the visitation to go.. That went right up in smoke. Fostermom seemed to want to cut ties almost immediately. When we arrived, she had all of Southern Darlin's stuff sitting in trash bags & boxes by the door and pushed us to go ahead and take it that first day. We declined since we were sure that Southern Darlin' would want to come back that nite (come on, who wouldn't? lol).

So we all piled back into the van +1 kiddo. Fostermom came out to say good bye and teared up a bit. Southern Darlin' could have cared less.. She called Goodbye old mommy!! I'm going to my new mommy's house now!! Whether she was really well prepared for the transition or has a bit radish in her- I'm not really sure but thus began our week as a family of 8.

Our very first nite, Southern Darlin' was very confused. She's a literal child. When we talked about going to Applebees for lunch she wasn't sure she liked that but agreed to go. Once inside, I asked her what she wanted after naming off the kids meals. She insisted that she wanted apples b/c we were at Applebees and that's what they must have.. lol. She also kept asking if we were lost and couldn't find our way home b/c we went to the hotel to stay. In her mind, she was coming to our house now not just a visit, so I guess maybe that wasn't explained to her too well?

She was a bit sad that first nite and we called her fostermom (old mommy as she refers to her) to chat for a minute or two and promised to go there for a visit the next morning. Although we repeatedly offered to take her back home and pick her up the next morning she adamently refused to leave us and was determined that she was going to stay with "ya'll" now.

Saturday morning dawned and we went back to the foster home for a visit. She breezed in, said hi to the old mommy and then insisted that we pack all her stuff into our van b/c she didn't want to leave it behind. Foster mom commented that she would not have brought her all the way over for a visit (hindsight, she didn't pay any attention to fostermom anyway so it really was pointless but still!) and we should just have her call if she misses her. She said that Southern Darlin' was going to have to get used to it and she'd be fine. Now I'm not trying to make fostermom sound bad. I am sure that she is a very nice lady and cared for Southern Darlin' wonderfully. I do feel that she's already detaching and trying to make a clean break. When I tried to put myself in her shoes , I just couldn't imagine handling things quite the same way but we are different people.

The rest of the week went well. We had our first meltdown after going to CPS to pick up the file. Honestly I had expected it b/c visits or anything remind them of visits trigger my kids as well. After the first nite, Southern Darlin' did not ask for fostermom again. After a few days, as we talked about going back to the foster home- she got upset talking about it and was insistent that she was coming home with us and NOT going back to her old house anymore. Poor baby cried and cried the nite before she was due back to her foster home :( To her credit- the adoption worker did try to get permission for her to drive back home with us but it is against "best practice" policy and denied. After lots of talking and building up going home for the goodbye party Fostermom had planned for her, Southern Darlin' woke up Friday morning in a good mood. She marched into her foster house that morning and announced to "old mommy" that she was going to stay with her for a 'few seconds' and then fly on an airplane to her new mommy's house! Lol! :)

Last nite, after a few minor incidents including : an escalator trying to eat my precious new little one therefore missing the initial flight and having to take a later flight that included a layover and switching of planes-which resulted in a nice meltdown that the CW finally got to experience when the stewardess had the NERVE to take away cups and trash prior to landing! whew.. Finally, Southern Darlin' with a very flustered CW arrived at our local airport! We picked her up at the airport and had the CW follow us home to do the once over of the house and sign all the paperwork.. CW actually asked us if we were "sure" we really wanted to do this.. lol. I think the meltdown has scarred her for life and she was pretty eager to get out of here. I guess it's a good thing that Drool Prince has broke me in on tantrums so far huh?!

In the end, I'm sure there will be a little adjustment period and some testing of the limits (she seems to think tv should be on cartoons (toon toons) 24/7 and fostermom admits that she lets her do this-- uhmm not here honey) we'll all be fine. The good news is that she fits right into the family. I'll keep you updated on how things progress in the next few weeks (if Blogger isn't a pita again!)! I am having a hard time believing that she's finally here! After all these years, she's here...

Update finally.. yes I suck

My bad.. See I think that I blog about things.... I plan to blog about them and then I get sidetracked with the baby, or the toddlers or.. ohh something shiny!! and I never get around to saying it here. Yet I go on as if I already told ya'll about it.. oops.. Kids suck your brain right out.. That little portion that holds any memories (and multiplication facts!) seems out with each kid that you raise.. That's my theory & I'm sticking with it.

Anyhoo- when we last left off, I had managed to get that darn ICPC pushed thru from my state to sending state to adoption worker in 1 day. Yes, I'm awesome. You may kiss my feet. or not.

So on that same day, the adoption worker emailed me that she had received it and ICPC was approved!!!! How long have we waited for this? Then I got the next email from her..

Here's a list of things we need to get done before placement can be made.. There were SEVEN items on that darn list.. SEVEN! Thankfully some could happen in the background while we worked together on the rest.. First up- subsidy.. What the heck? Subsidy paperwork before she's even here? Seems assbackwards to me but whatever?!

Long story short- in the past 2wks (doesn't seem like it's been that long!) , we have filled out paperwork, emailed back and forth with the adoption worker about 100zillion times (honestly, the Adoption Worker is absolutely freakin AWESOME! She totally gets the excitement & is very dedicated to her job!), planned our trip , found a hotel room that would fit the entire Chaos Clan, bartered w/ the hotel & got them to drop the price by $40/nite !!

Right now the plan is for us to be down there and have our first official meeting next Friday! We're staying for a little over a week & and having visits with Southern Darlin' every day. She may even get to spend the nite at our hotel with us for a nite or two. Can you say SUPER EXCITED? The Adoption worker has to escort Southern Darlin' to our home (ie. we can't bring her home with us) so we have to leave and come home with out her :( But we are hoping for placement very soon (as in... within days..)after we get home again.. Keep your fingers crossed that everything goes as planned..

And not to bring down from the super excitement.. but anyone have advice on meeting a 5yo for the first time? I'm just a tad bit nervous.. lol.. I mean hello? How do I introduce myself? Ahhh!!

The post that wasn't

I have several blog posts I want to write about.. I still have that super sleuth squirrel, the hideous bathing suit try on story & a few others..

But all I can think about right now is--

We are SOOOOOOOOOOOOO freakin close to being done with ICPC.. Soooo close to planning our visit to Southern Darlin's state.. Sooo close. Ahhhhhh!!!

Let's rehash the whole ICPC timeline shall we? The 2nd week of April and the adoption worker files the ICPC.. April 15, sending state ICPC sends the packet to my state's ICPC office.. Worker there is on the ball & processes it in one day.. ONE DAY. A total of two weeks for it to get from the adoption worker, to her state's icpc office, to my state's icpc office to my county.

Then they decide that instead of using my current adoptive homestudy-- well heck for giggles, let's order an ICPC homestudy.. Sure.. So we sit and wait.. and wait.. and wait.. Get our finger prints redone, new medical forms, redo all the dang adoption homestudy forms.. and wait some more.

Finally on May 19th, we get our ICPC homestudy visit. The worker assures me that she'll get it dictated by that Friday & it should be transcribed by the following friday.. Well you all know me.. never one to wait. So the next week I am calling- is it done yet? how about now? Thursday comes and I get the "Yes it's done!", they even agree to send it overnite (at my dime naturally) to my home county to help speed things up!!

So May 29th my county receives the ICPC homestudy.. They are well prepared b/c I've called and left messages as well as emailed to let them know that it's going to be there! Please push it thru.. pretty please. I also called the state ICPC office to tell them that my county would be receiving it and they should hopefully be expecting it next week.. lol.

This morning dawns the first day of June.. It's a Monday and I have not heard hide nor hair from my county.. So I decide , what the heck- they already know I'm nutso- call them! Imagine my surprize when I find out that my county did indeed receive it on Friday & sent it onto the state office.. Ohhh laa laa. I'm sure it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I casually mentioned my conversation with the state ICPC office & the fact that they knew when they *should* be expecting it if everyone was on the ball.

So, if they sent it Friday -it should be there today right? Of course I emailed (see how nice I was, emailing instead of phoning) my contact at the ICPC office and he said it had just arrived on his desk.. Since this is the 3 (or 4th or 5th) time I've talked to him, he knew my story and knew I really wanted to get this moving. He signed it and FAXED it right to the other state's ICPC.. Well hell, if it could have been faxed, why weren't we doing this all along? lol

Does it end there? Ohhh no.. I'm too pushy right now to stop. So I looked up the other state's ICPC office contacts and put in a phone call or 5.. She never answered and I didn't leave a message.. So I finally emailed the contact there & heard back almost immediately.. She had indeed received the fax & emailed a copy of the "APPROVED" homestudy to the caseworker!!!

So from here to there in 1 day when it took 2wks to get from there to here.. lol! Now to just get the adoption worker to answer emails !LOL No worries, if I dont hear from her by the time Daddy Chaos gets home- I will be calling her too :) With any luck we'll be completely out of ICPC hell this week and onto planning our trip !!

Good, not soo good and downright bad!

Life is always a mess around here.. Good news, not so good news and downright bad news.

Let's start with the good!

We had our ICPC homestudy visit yesterday :) It went well. We were allowed to learn a little more about Southern Darlin' (who ironically shares a bdate with my nephew.. ha.. we have a thing in this family and sharing bdates with someone). After some gentle persuasion, the social worker (homestudy lady? not sure her exact title) agreed that she'd have it dictated by this friday and it should be typed up, reviewed and ready to send out by Next Friday.. Woohoo! Then it just needs to work its way back thru the lovely county, state icpc, state icpc, county system.. So I'm hoping 3wks total to get it back to where Southern Darlin' is?? I may be thinking overly optimistically there but one can hope right?

Not Quite so good news :

Baby Bug & Spoiled Princess are sick.. SP got it first- lovely cough and whining fulltime included. She had a fever last nite but it seems to be staying away today. Baby Bug hacks up a lung, smiles up with his drooly smile and crawls off.

Definitely not good news:

I spoke to the bparents of Lil Bro (biodad to SP & SD and his new wife) and found out that Littler Lil Bro was also taken into care by DCS. From what the mama said it was something that I can't see a reason to take him , maybe in home services but not removal.. It sounds very much like a planned removal which makes me sad since they surrendered on Lil Bro just to be able to keep Littler Lil Bro.. It makes me sad for them that it seems they may have straightened up their lives some , only to get kicked back down again. Of course I only know their side of the story but oddly the mama is one of those people that tends to tell the truth even when it hurts them. Who knows, I suppose I'm more likely to believe them because I do know how corrupt that county is. What a mess!

The worst news:

Gpa Chaos (my dad) is in the hospital. Any spare thoughts/prayers would be greatly appreciated. Not feeling well yesterday, he was taken to the dr - dr then called the ambulance and had him taken to the hospital. They are not really sure what's going on- if he had a heart attack, heart spasms, pacemaker on the fritz. Still waiting on blood tests to determine if there's a blood infection or anything else. There's some fluid on his lungs which the dr said could be pneumonia or heart failure (echo showed a sluggish heart).. It's bad when you hope and pray for pneumonia.. Keep him in your thoughts. He's my daddy and we all love him!

Answer Day

Janine asked this in a previous post and I just never got around to answering until today (yes I'm slow) ..:

Looking forward to hearing of the arrival of your new daughter - have you all met her, spent time with her, know her....or is this a big adventure into the unknown?

Quite frankly this is a big adventure into the unknown. We've known of Southern Darlin' for the past 4+ years since Spoiled Princess was born and entered our home. Yet we've never seen her. I can clearly recall asking biomom to bring her in for a visit back when she actually came to see Spoiled Princess in those early days but she never wanted to commit to it. I really just wanted a picture of the two girls together while they were little. Just one tiny picture to save back. Never happened.

Fast forward a little over a year later. Biodad made allegations against Biomom (not together) and an investigation was made in a different county. Naturally I contacted the new county, gave them my info and bugged them mercilessly let them know that if she was taken into care we'd love to have her here w/ her sister. I spent a year calling and trying to get updates from that county off and on. Eventually the worker admitted that they weren't even sure that she still lived in that unsafe location any longer but maybe they'd do a check and let me know. Never heard back from them.

Fast Forward two more years. I worried and wondered about her but had no clue where she was. Then Lil Bro was born. We went thru the steps of trying to fight corrupt caseworkers get him placed with us when he was taken into care. Fate intervened and Lil Bro had a court date the same day as Drool Prince (naturally in the same court house). Unknowingly I sat next to his biomom.. Once she started talking, I realized who she was & introduced myself. During that conversation, I discovered that Southern Darlin' , that precious little girl that I'd never met but had worried and wondered about for 3yrs, was in care.

And that people began our journey into trying to get her moved here. It's been well over a year now. We had to wait for termination, then for bioparent appeals, then for other family to step forward... and now the darn ICPC.

So long story to say- no we haven't met her, we've only received one picture (that we probably weren't supposed to get but hey, nice caseworker) and very little information. But she has been in our heads and our hearts for 4 long years. I can't wait to finally meet her and squeeze her.

My only current concern is this: We've already introduced the other kids to her picture and who she is. Spoiled Princess has become VERY attached to her new sister. Most everything that is talked about in the future tense includes Southern Darlin'. They talk frequently about going to Disney again and I've explained that no, we aren't going this year b/c we're going to that state far away to visit Southern Darlin'... maybe we'll go next year when Spoiled Princess is 5 & Drool Prince is 4 (have to give them ages so they understand a year) to which Spoiled Princess automatically starts spouting off her favorite rides (ok we go to Disney a bit too often but they're only young once and I'd go MORE if I could afford it-- Hey Disney, wanna send us free? I'd totally blog about it!) and claiming that Southern Darlin' is going to ride with HER and only HER. So my concern/worry is - what if Southern Darlin' isn't as excited about Spoiled Princess? What if she gravitates toward Drama Queen instead - which could be logical since the foster home she's been in for the past 2yrs has teens. Lord help me, I hope and pray that Southern Darlin' will be as much in love with her new sister as Spoiled Princess is her. I just can't imagine anything else.

Phones that go unanswered

Dear Adoption Homestudy person,

I do appreciate you finally getting me that packet. Sure it took 4 business days to get 35miles but hey who's counting. At least it got here right?

I also wanted to say thanks so much for being there to answer the questions I had. When you told me to call you as soon as I got the packet so we could determine what actually needed done vs what's already current on file for us, I just kinda assumed that you'd answer your phone.. or email? I'm happy to keep calling you day after day after day and sending emails but honestly it'd be really great if you'd just .. I don't know?.. answer an email or return a phone call? Silly me.

Since everything must be turned in by next week , I will just go ahead and redo everyone's medical reports (since when do minors have to do TB tests? Last year's medical report didn't have it on there.. Spoiled Princess is NOT looking forward to that. just sayin') & fingerprints. No problem that I'm shelling out money for something that might still be current. I'm sure once I've paid for it all you'll call me up to tell me I don't need it but quite frankly I'm not taking the chance. In case you haven't figured it out yet, we are trying our darndest to get this thing pushed thru ASAP so we can get Southern Darlin' here before school starts.

Thanks again for giving me that little piece of hope that you'd actually be there to help me get this finished asap. Don't worry, when I do finally talk to you I promise to be a nice as possible under the circumstances. I do need you to get your job done.. I won't even mention the 5 phone messages and 2emails that you never responded to... I won't. But if you bring it up first, all bets are off! Just sayin'!

Sincerely,

A very irritated Momma Chaos

ICPC update

ICPC update--

My county decided that instead of honoring the Adoption Workers' request to use our current adoption homestudy, we should go ahead and do an entire new ICPC homestudy.. Just for giggles. I Am Not Happy.

Fine , whatever.. I'll get over it. So county sends the request to the agency that does our homestudies. Since I was out a bit last week dealing with .. I dunno, surgery.. I didn't get to stay on top of it.

First thing Monday, I called the agency to find out what the heck is going on and how fast we can get this crap going. Apparently they sent out a 'packet' on Friday and cannot talk to me until I receive said packet.

People it is now Wednesday! The agency is 30miles away. I could have Walked there faster. Where the heck is that dang packet? It's just enough to tip me over into down right pissed. Can't the fates just cut me a break , just this once?

grrrr.. Keep your fingers crossed that the idiot packet gets here quickly & most of our stuff is still up to date from our last homestudy.. I would really like to get Southern Darlin' here sometime this year, I mean Come ON!!