Sometimes we all need a little help.

So my friends, I have been holding back.   Hoping it would pass and I could write about it easier once it was over with.  Unfortunately it's been 3 months now and still not passing. 

Fishing Pole (7) has always had phases.. Since he was at least 3, he has went thru spells - where he is just out of control behavior wise.. Not at all himself..  This kid is an absolute sweetheart with the biggest heart out there. He always thinks of his siblings and if he's at Cowie's he'll bring home something for them ect..  If he has any money to spend, he always tries to buy something for his siblings too.  He's very loving..

And then he falls into the "bad" phase.    Normally it doesn't last more than a month but this is the worst we've ever encountered.  My sweet, loving boy  has switched into an angry, defiant kid.  He's struggling at school - with behavior, getting work done, basically everything.  We tried to hold out knowing that it shouldn't be long until he would switch back to his normal self but apparently this time we aren't going to be quite as lucky..

Honestly, I have no clue what is actually bugging him- I do know that it's much worse during the school week  vs weekends. He says he hates school now and I've had days where I have had to literally drag him out of the car and into the building.

It all started with a 'flare' from his dysautonomia - or at least that's what I am guessing.. Lots of pain, brain fog , ect.. I could understand being grumpy & not wanting to go to school feeling like that.  Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you view it, the chronic pain went away after about a month but the behaviour got worse instead of better.

The absolute worst day was the day he screamed over and over that he wanted to die. He wanted to kill himself.   I remember thinking- come on, he's 7.. but on the other hand, omg- what is so wrong in my baby's mind that he would rather die than be here with us? 

We are starting play therapy and hoping to get into see a psych soon to see what other dx he might have (adhd? anxiety? depression?) and just praying that we can get the help he needs to let him be that sweet little boy that I know is hiding inside..  I miss that little boy.


Most days I think I handle it pretty well, and try to remain calm while he's screaming at me what a horrible mom I am, how much he hates me ect..  Today was not one of those days. I may have yelled back, I know I said things that I regret and apologized for.  I am the adult and can't always hold my temper, how can I expect him to?

If you have advice, ideas or heck even want to point me in a direction that might help- I'm always willing to listen.  I'm pretty much ready to try anything right now.   I miss my boy.

xoxo,

House full of sickies..

Bad things come in 3s or so it's said.   Sick kids don't apparently listen to that rule.

It all started with Spoiled Princess.  She is my sensitive child.  Heck she sobbed huge wracking sobs last nite because I questioned her wanting to dress up as a teacher for "Dress up as what you want to be" day on Friday.   Silly me.  A Teacher?  Just seems too ~plain for my dramatic child.  She has always boldly proclaimed that she will be a Princess!!  a Musketeer!! or most recently a super awesome Cowgirl like Jesse with a cool horse to ride. At Kindergarten, I think it's pretty normal to want to be these types of things.  Apparently a little boy dared make fun of her and told her that Cowgirls weren't real.  So now sensitive, people pleaser that she is, she's afraid to be what she wants and would rather be something "safe".   sigh.

Is it illegal to beat up 6yr old boys for making your baby cry?  Probably.  ugh.  Moving on.  As I was saying before I so rudely interrupted myself with that long winded aside ..

Ahem. 

Spoiled Princess started the sickies.  Her throat hurwt.  Her eyes hurwt.  And then the coughing began.  We dosed with cough meds and continued with school (no fever, no vomitting- take your hiney to school!) but the cough meds weren't really working so off to the dr we went.  We promptly discovered that she was wheezing like crazy in those silly little lungs so onto nebulizer treatments she went.  This is her first wheezing incident so we are hoping it's not an indication of asthma but heck with asthma in her bio family tree I'm not going to hold my breath.   Remember what I said about 3 kids being the turning point?  Apparently it holds true for sickness.  I mentioned to Daddy Chaos that the dr said we might end up having to look at Asthma for SP and he says "oh well, we already have three with asthma. What's one more? "   True.. true..

Next Fishing Pole got it.  Since he is one of my already has asthma kids, we promptly go into yellow zone (double maintenance & start nebulizer every 4hrs) at the sign of colds. So far that has worked pretty well for us. I can usually beat it out before it settles in his lungs.   This time hit like a ton of bricks.  No building up. Fine one day, crap the next.  Crazy high heart rate , slighly low O2.  I took him into the dr.  EKG, bloodwork & xray later.  Xray says possible pneumonia but dr didn't really agree with that.  Ekg looked fairly  normal & bloodwork came back fine.   So back home & continue on neb treatments.  Fun. 

I probably should mention that I have been sick since Christmas and had 4 shots in the butt & am on my second round of antibiotics with an inhaler thrown in~ although no nebulizer treatments.

The last to get hit was Dimples. He's a typical asthma kid.  He usually the first to get it, it lingers forever and then just as it's finally made its rounds thru the house and is on the way out he will catch it again.  He got hit with the bug on Thurs , lucky for us we had an appt with our new Dr Sleep the next day anyway to go over the sleep results (later) so she got to listen to his lungs and declare them clear.   Saturday started the fever and Sunday landed us in the ER.

Xrays , bloodwork and a lovely qtip up the nose told us that Dimples has RSV.  Luckily he's almost 3 so it's not as severe as it could be if he were younger , not that knowing that makes it any better when he's coughing til he pukes and then coughing more.

One apparently unknown side effect of being sick with RSV is that it leads to emotional instability.  This boy is soo off the wall with his emotions. Laughing one moment, crying big huge sobs the next & trying to beat the beejeebers out of me the next. Sometimes he's laughing and crying at the same time.  Poor emotionally unstable child.   I just hope he gets better soon before the rest of them start going looney!!

Have I mentioned lately how tired I am of winter and colds??  No wonder I'm ready to move south. ugh.

xoxo,

Give me a chew toy.

For all intents and purposes my almost 3yr old is about ½ his age developmentally.  Luckily enough for him, he's pretty small so when we are out and about most of his behaviors are passed off because he looks like a big 18-24mo (heck he still wears that size.. ha).

Go read here if you want the long story.. Go on, I'll wait..

So anyway, the kid has some issues.. We're attempting to figure out what the heck is going on & how to help.  Blah.. Blah.. Blah..

When he does something new, no matter how little, we celebrate!  Yay! You did it!! Good job!!  We grab a hold of that tiny accomplishment because it's p r o g r e s s !!

I'm not quite sure we should be celebrating today's new thing...

BITING.

Yes my almost 3 yr old has learned what many toddlers do (my other kids did it around 1½-2yrs old).   Fun..

It used to be he got mad and he spit.   Which I hate!  Spits like a pro.  Ick!!

Now he spits and then BITES.. Hard..   As in break-the-skin hard. 

And naturally the boy who will usually repeat anything you say will not repeat "I'm sorry Fishing Pole"..

He will however say "I sorry .... zhu zhu pet.. butt.. pee-pee. :giggle:"

Yeah, I don't quite think he's getting it.   I guess we will have to figure out some kind of discipline that he understands and works.. Ugh!!   Suggestions??  

Personally I'm thinking of going with the puppy method, firmly tap on the nose- say NO and stuff a chew toy in his mouth..  too bad I'm only half kidding.. lol


        xoxo,

Some days you just wanna SCREAM!!

Wednesday was one of those days.

I will preface all this by saying I can be a bitch.  I have times where I just get in a bitchy mode and the tiniest little things will irritate me.  I know, surprising.. There goes my sweet & innocent status.

Dimples (formerly TheToddler, formerly BabyBug-- gosh ppl quit letting me name my kids things they will outgrow.. I think at almost 3, we are beyond Toddlerhood..  ugh. No more name changes- pinky promise) has been in Early Intervention since he was teeny tiny. He was a preemie, a drug baby and behind a bit.. Plus we have this unknown brain issue- that might not be an issue but could be so let's watch it because we aren't going to know how it affects him until it starts affecting him or not.

We only work with Developmental therapy because there are no OTs available in our area thru the EI program.  For the past little while his DT  & I have become concerned that he's not making any progress and seems to be stuck in limbo.   So much so that DT will be ending very soon rather than write another ISP  to make it til he's 3 because there is something else going on and the DT cannot get anywhere with him. 

Now don't get me wrong- I agree with this.  We haven't seen any progress since.. summer? and he doesn't cooperate with sessions because he's too busy and can't concentrate.

We are testing him for Developmental preschool and I have to think that if they go by the recent (early this month) EI eval, he'll get in.  That eval team gave him a -2 deviation across the board (except gross motor).  Not because he's not doing anything but because he's still doing the exact same things that he did last year & is now a year older which makes him score worse.

I have had many ideas tossed at me by various professionals - FAS?  Autism? Sensory Issues?

I know he has sensory issues.  It seems when most ppl look for sensory, they look for avoiders.  The kids who can't touch certain textures or tags bother them ect.  My kid is a seeker. He runs into walls on purpose and bounces off because he likes it.  He is constantly running. I never set him down when we were out of the house because he WILL run and not stop.  I could go on about his other issues but that's not really what I wanted to write about today. 

So I got a referral for a private OT and Wednesday was our evaluation with her.  She is reported to be a very good OT who specializes in kids with sensory issues. Great, right? 

First impressions are important for many reasons and I'll just start by saying that my first impression of her was not the best..   She appeared friendly but a few things just rubbed me the wrong way.

While doing the interview portion- Dimples sat fairly quietly.. He colored on the folder I gave him (I was impressed with how long he sat and colored- world record for him!) and tried to get down a time or two but overall was very calm for him.  She looked at me and said "Is he always like this?"   Seriously?? He is being GOOD.. lol

Fishing Pole was with us & playing his leapster.  Again for him, he was behaving very well. He did interrupt twice to ask me a question but I didn't feel he was being a pest at all. She immediately corrected him and told him firmly that he needed to sit there and be quiet like a big boy because we were very busy and his Mom didn't have time to talk with him while we had to do very important stuff.  She then went and got him another toy to play with but something about the way she jumped on him irritated me.

Towards the end of our interview, she is talking about how she specializes in sensory issues and works with *these* kids all the time.  I must have looked at her questioningly because she then clarified "Kids with autism or aspergers".   Now right there I am pissed.  I'm not saying Dimples doesn't have something like that (although very affectionate & eye contact seem to be against straight up Autism*) but seriously that is just something you don't do.  You don't just automatically lump this child you just met into a group like that when you really know nothing much about him.   Yes autistic kids do have sensory issues but just because you have sensory issues doesn't mean the kid is autistic.

So at this point she has irritated me 3 times.  We moved onto the gym area because she wants to see him move.  Dimples has decided pretty much he does NOT like her.  Omg the meltdowns we had : (  She picked him up against his will several times.  It was just too much- new place, this weird stranger grabbing him & trying to make him do things.  Poor baby..  She then started in on discipline.

I'm sorry but this is my baby. Yes I'm probably in denial but still.  I admit we don't have alot of success with discipline- nothing works for him.  And at this point we aren't sure if he really understands when we try to explain things to him.  He's very very active. He does throw things (all the time) but I truly don't feel he's "bad" or misbehaving on purpose. I think he's having fun (throwing gets him the sensory input that just setting something down doesn't) and occasionally frustrated.   We practice redirection & if someone is hurt then he gets time-ins.  Nothing really works at this point.

ugh.. I will give this new OT her shot. We will try several sessions to see if Dimples can adjust to her & begin to trust her a bit.  We'll see if she can help because she's really the only one in our area right now.  But I'm not looking forward to it.  Not one bit.

* I am not saying that Dimples is or isn't on the Autism spectrum. He definitely has a few tendencies, however it was deeply offensive for a woman who had just spent 20mins sitting in a room with him  to automatically lump him into a category like that would solve everything.  I can only imagine how that would have affected another parent who perhaps hadn't researched everything To.Death.  and was blindsided by this woman barely meeting your child & throwing out a scary diagnosis.
                       xoxo,

Crazy Days are back

I haven't talked about Southern Darlin' in a while on here.. The boys keep me busy and so they have been what I babble out. I worry, I babble.

Southern Darlin' had some problems in kindergarten. We went back and forth over whether to hold her back or let her go on to 1st grade. Finally in Feb. we got her on medication for her ADHD & anxiety which gave us a changed kid!  No more of the screaming and refusing to get out of the car. Her reading finally improved and she got moved out of the bottom group.  After some discussion with her kindy teacher, we all agreed that she was ready to move onto 1st grade. 

So here we are at mid-term in her 1st grade year. She did great all summer but as soon as school started there was acting out. I knew her meds needed upping but her teacher initially thought it would be ok and it was just 'back to school syndrome' that most kids get.  I knew better but Dr. Crazy won't up the meds if the teacher says everything's going ok.  What does a mom know after all?

Several weeks ago her teacher contacted me.  It appears Southern Darlin' was not settling into class. She is not staying in her seat, she's copying off of others' work, talking excessively and just fidgeting.   Worse news is that she has not made any progress so far in 1st grade and has in fact went back a bit. :(

Today a conference is set up with the principal, her teacher & the school counselor about getting her some testing.  I pushed for an IEP in Kindergarten and was told 'it wasn't done'.  I am asking again.  We have her ADHD diagnosis as well as her ARND (alcohol related neurological deficits - an off shoot of FAS but not enough physical features to get a FAS dx) diagnosis.. I'm sorry but I would think that the two of those combined (and documented by drs) would get us an IEP.

Everyday on the way to school (I drive them), I always say "YAY! School time!" cuz I'm all cheesy like that :)  

Normally, the kids all agree and cheer "YAY! School!" and then tell me something they're looking forward to today (even if it's just what they're having for lunch.. lol). 

All week Southern Darlin' has said "Boo!! I don't want to go. School is boring!!"

So we talked about how you have to go to school to learn. Learning is fun and even if you just want to grow up to be a princess (her current life goal) then you still have to learn and be smart because Princesses are super smart and know all kinds of things.

Still we got to school today and it happened.  The thing I've been dreading since she did it over and over again last year.  She refused to get out of the car.  She crossed her little arms and said "No! I am not getting out!"

Now remember, I drive a monster van. Which means to get to her seat and drag her out (which I've had to do in the past), I have to climb over two rows of seats.  I'm sure it's a highly amusing sight to watch Momma unbuckle her seatbelt and proceed to climb over two rows of seats to get an uncooperative child out of her seat.  Naturally, as soon as I climbed back there she jumped up, grabbed her backpack and hopped out of the van.

She got out of the van, let Spoiled Princess out and then tried to climb right back in again.  Uhmm no dearie.. Get your hiney out of my van and go to school.  * Lest you think I'm a mean ass Momma who cares not a bit for her kiddos, let me explain that Southern Darlin' did this quite a bit last year at school. I had the principal drag her kicking and screaming from the van, I walked her to her room & had her teacher hold her there so I could escape (otherwise she'd come running after me) and after a few minutes she was always fine.*

The principal was there - silly man always seems to appear at MY van to help the kids out of it and close the door, he must sense the crazy?!   I informed him (he's new this year) that she's a "runner" and he might want to watch her til she gets inside.  He held her hand and chatted with both girls as he walked them to the school. 

As I'm pulling away, I'm also watching in my mirror just in case I need to stop.

My girl gives it her best.  She pulls hard as she can and in the end, Mr.Principal had to pick her up to get her the last few steps.  I hope his shins don't hurt too bad because I saw quite a few kicks that I think landed.

Now I fully believe that she was just fine once she got inside. It's a power struggle but once she's inside she gives up and normally has a really good day. 

I'm actually thankful that it happened today of all days. 

Today -the day that I have that special meeting with everyone over the help Southern Darlin' needs. 

Southern Darlin' is normally the adorable little girl with cute little quirks that everyone laughs at and lets her get her way.  Very rarely do they see the defiance and manipulation.  I think seeing her this way this morning will cement into his head how much she truly is struggling in school that she doesn't even want to go anymore.  I'm hoping it will help him fight with me instead of against me for the help she needs.

Wish me luck and if anyone has any IEP advice- spill it to me quick! Meeting is after school today! :)

Meds- Day..??

Ok if I think really hard I can figure out what day post Meds start we are but come on, you dont want me to push my brain like that after the day I've already had.. 

Southern Darlin's teacher has been sending home notes after school daily with how her behavior was.  We're trying to work with Southern Darlin' on remembering the behavior that caused her to get in trouble.  Since meds started, notes have been good.  Yesterday, Mrs Teacher forgot to send a note so she chose to call me instead.  Getting a phone call from the elementary school is not on my happy list.  It's normally not good news.  Thankfully this time, Southern Darlin' had a great report.. Mrs Teacher wanted to say that she has seen a HUGE improvement in SD's attention and behavior since starting meds! She's thrilled with the new child emerging. What a difference a day makes.. Today's note comments on her having trouble  focusing & following directions.. No bad behavior, just inattention.

At home, we're still seeing calm days and AllOverThePlace days. I still see moments where she just looks sad. I dont like that.  She has promised the past two nites that she will be REALLY good without the pills because she doesn't like taking them.   Last nite she was laying in bed and said Mommy, I just dont know what's wrong with me..  When I asked her what she meant, she just said "I don't know".

Poor Baby :(  Maybe meds isn't the answer but it's really helping her in school.. I hate that she's starting to not focus already (we're right at our peak performance of meds and possiblity of upping the dosage timeframe) because I really don't want to up the dosage..

Meds- Day 2

Yesterday was Day 2 of Southern Darlin's meds.  I was apprehensive on how she would react. The therapist warned us that she might get even more lethargic in the next coming days until her body adjusted to the meds.

Uhmm no.  She had absolutely no difference.. Was full of energy, bouncing around- so much so that Daddy Chaos asked me if I had forgotten to give her the pill?? lol.  So who knows? Perhaps Day 1's reaction was really a fluke & she just wasn't feeling well?

Color me confused.

Meds- Day 1

We decided to wait for the weekend to start Southern Darlin's meds just in case. 

So this morning it was time.   I was nervous.. The med comes in a pill form.  My 14yr old just learned to swallow pills last year (I know!), how the heck was I going to get a newly turned 6yr old to do it?  I handed her a glass of water and explained how to do a pill.. She wanted me to put it in after she put some water in and the girl Swallowed it on the first try!  Pro-pill taker :)  As soon as she swallowed it she declared that it made her tummy hurt & she wasn't taking anymore of those pills.. ha.

Dr. Cuckoo told us that it would take 7-10days for us to know if the pill was going to work & he'd be willing to up the dosage (if needed) at 14days.  To me, that meant we would see absolutely nothing until 7-10days.  Apparently I misunderstood.

My lovely child who cannot sit still..who has words constantly flowing from her mouth even when it makes no sense.. actually was quiet.  She just sat. She quietly rolled the ball with the baby. Normally she'd be bouncing up and down , running back and forth helping him roll it to her ect.. Instead she quietly sat until it was her turn.  We went shopping & she did not ask to sit in the cart or have a fit that she did NOT get to sit in the cart, she just walked along quietly holding my hand.  We went out for lunch (something that is normally an almost scary thing with Southern Darlin') and she colored for a few minutes and then just sat there staring off into space.. Several times I'd ask her if she felt ok & she could half heartedly tell me that maybe her knee might hurt again later  (she has a small bug bite that is KILLING her- therapist gave me a word which I cannot remember but starts with a "S" that means she's taking her emotional pain and making it physical) but overall nothing was bothering her.. She was just there.

By the time we got to our therapy appointment it had been 6hrs since she'd taken her med & it was finally starting to wear off.. She was still much quieter- able to sit down the entire 30mins, make eye contact, and focus on the flash card activity they did.. She smiled off and on but still looks a little lost.  The therapist then explained what Dr Cuckoo didn't tell me.. That she may get even more lethargic as her body adjusts to the meds.  That in 7-10days, her body would be fully adjusted and then we'll see how she's doing with this level of meds..  Silly me..

I'll keep updating for the next several days as I see these changes so we can all see how this turns out.. I admit I was alarmed by the change in her at this point.. This is not the child I know.. so quiet..

A Trip to Dr Cuckoo

After a few months of therapy, our beloved therapist suggested we take Southern Darlin' to the psychologist aka Dr Cuckoo (not because he's cuckoo but he's the crazy dr.. ok fine I'm not being politically correct- sorry,deal) for an evaluation as she's not qualified to prescribe meds & Southern Darlin'- she could benefit from some meds.    I was assured that Dr Cuckoo is very anti-meds in children but our therapist felt most likely he would be medicating Southern Darlin'.. Does that tell you anything? ha.

Soo today we finally got to our appointment.  I picked Southern Darlin' up from school.  Went to the office & asked that she be called down to leave.. I stood in the hall waiting.. and waiting... and waiting for her to come out.. Finally, her teacher comes out with Southern Darlin' in hand  Steam figuratively pouring out her ears..  Teacher is pretty unflappable, but apparently Southern Darlin' has been pushing the buttons.. She pulled all 3 sticks (the most you can pull- which equals no recess) and then when she was informed that Momma was there to pick her up- well she didn't feel it was necessary to actually get her stuff around &  actually leave.. Instead she preferred to wander the classroom looking at her classmates, take her slippers to the bathroom, and generally do anything except what she was supposed to be doing.  Teacher was P.I.S.S.E.D!   Southern Darlin' smirked as Teacher told me about her behaviors today & as soon as Teacher headed back to her room, Southern Darlin' started happily telling me random things that she could think of.. She only got upset when I informed her that she would NOT be watching a movie on the way to see Dr Cuckoo because she as she was being rude to her teacher.  Cue waterworks.. Ugh.

Finally get to Dr. Cuckoo & Southern Darlin' discovers that he does not have lots of fun toys like the Therapist does.. Uh oh.. The child was completely off the wall. Bounced in the chairs (really bounce- bounce house bounce) , wandered the room, talked to herself, took papers from Dr Cuckoo's desk & carried them around, looked anywhere but Dr Cuckoo when he asked her a question. WOULD NOT SHUT UP.. OMG.. I came away from that appointment with a migraine, I kid you not.  I repeatedly asked the child to sit down beside me and try to be quiet for just a few minutes.. She'd sit down and not 10seconds later be talking to the tissue box who she decided was her kid.  We spent 40mins discussing her background, our concerns & trying to talk to Southern Darlin'.. 40mins of the 1hr scheduled and Dr Cuckoo is like ok, get out.. . He leaned on his desk and said 'Ok, so you want meds right?'   I honestly considered asking for whom? Her or me? Cuz at the end of that appt I felt like I needed a lil sumthing.

We left with two diagnosis (ADHD  & Anxiety Disorder) and a lovely little rx for Strattera (anyone have experience??) .  I'm really hoping this helps her be able to calm down a little and focus.. But honestly the fear I have (which Dr Cuckoo & I discussed) is that the girl cycles.. She can focus wonderfully at times and is off the wall other times.. Her moods swing like a crazy monkey swinging in the trees & you can see the bad times building up.  Bipolar is in the family tree for the girls, so deep down I"m going to wonder.. For now, we wait and see. We'll try this and hope it helps.