Racism again..

During our stay in the pediatric ICU, the hospital chaplain (sp?) came to visit. I saw him frequently in the PICU area so I believe he came daily to sit and pray with the families of the very ill children. On the particular day that he stopped by our room, Daddy Chaos was sitting in the chair holding Drool Prince & I was getting ready to sneak some lunch (I had to hide in the corner of the room so Drool Prince wouldn't see me eating or drinking b/c he wasn't allowed to have anything). Hospital Chaplain (let's call him PrayerMan b/c I can spell that!) came in and introduced himself.

PrayerMan: Hi, I'm the hospital PrayerMan. And you must be Mom?

Me: nods b/c yes in fact I am mom but my mouth is full b/c I just took a bite before he walked in.. lol..

PrayerMan to Daddy Chaos: And What relationship are you to the child? (said in a way that you really just wanted to smack him.. PrayerMan or not..)

Daddy Chaos (a much nicer person than me) calmly just said :I'm his father.

PrayerMan looked confused for a moment and then the light dawns on him : Ding ! Ding! Ding! -ohhhh, you adopted?!

Things basically went downhill from there.. He ended up leaving a few minutes later after realizing that we clearly weren't going to be sitting there happily chatting with him after he just offended us. He did pray & thanked the Lord for such great people *us-ha* who would take on Drool Prince and give him a home-- OMG it made me completely furious.. I'm still contemplating complaining to the hospital. At the time I said nothing bc obviously I had more important things to worry about than some idiot mans thoughts.

PrayerMan avoided us the next day but did try us again the following day. It was the 2nd and Last day that he came to our room. The minute he walked in Drool Prince began...

DP: GET OUT!!

PrayerMan: Hi little man.. What'd you say?

DP: GET OUT!!!!!!

PrayerMan: aww, he must have heard that somewhere, I'm sure he has no idea what he's saying..

DP: GET OUT NOWWWWWWWWWWWW!

PrayerMan didn't stay long as Drool Prince was insistent in his proclamations that he "GET OUT".. Yes I am a bad bad mommy, but I did give the boy an extra big kiss & hug as soon as PrayerMan walked out the door.. Good boy! lol!

Before he left, he did manage to get one last jab in. He asked if we had other children..

Me: Yes, we have 4 children altogether.

PrayerMan: Are they all adopted?

Me: No, we have two biological children and two adopted (yes I know DP isnt' adopted yet but I'm not getting into it with this man).

PrayerMan: Is your other adopted child..... Is she.... What race is she???

Me: She's caucasian but obviously we have no preference on race.

That shut him up pretty quickly but I honestly couldn't believe he had the gall to ask me what race my child was.. Just his tone of voice when he asked and how he stuttered around trying to find a way to ask other than to just come out and say "Is she BLACK too?" was offensive....

Apparently racism knows no bounds...

Black or White? Does color really matter?

What a week I've had... Last night, we went to an Adoption Support Group meeting. It began thru our foster parent licensor & is worth credit hours (woohoo). I picked this particular month because they were discussing "Adopting Outside of Your Race" which is definitely a topic near and dear to my heart.

I must admit that I am very naive about the whole adopting Drool Prince. To me, he's my son~ I dont care what color he is. We live in a very predominantly 'white' neighborhood- so much so that there is only 1 family (with school age kids) in our system that are black (afro american, african american, whatever you want to use because believe me EVERYONE uses a different term!). This family is actually African as in straight from Africa. Now I admit it could be my own kids who are a bit color blind since they've had a biracial sibling for 2yrs now, but for the longest time I had no clue that there were anything but 'white' kids in their school.. They don't recognize color or disabilities just friends. I guess the point that I'm being naive is that probably not ALL kids are like that? I'm not really sure if the current kids in our school system have had issues but buddy believe me if MY son has any issues when he's old enough for school I will be in there laying down the law.. lol

An interesting question was brought up (there were two different black foster parents that have white kids) about whether society regards the sets differently. Which is seen as 'more wrong' -
-a set of white parents with a black child

or

-a set of black parents with a white child?

Honestly I think everyone (except one parent) agreed that society is more comfortable with a white family adopting a black child & not the other way around.. I myself agree that it would be perceived as more 'normal' but it irritates me!! In this day and age people still are looking at COLOR?! What is wrong with our society? Good parents are good parents regardless of what color their skin is!!

We had one set of friends who -while always fawning over Drool Prince and how cute he was- would ask when he'd be moving to another family to adopt him. Meaning a black family. They've since gotten over it and accepted that he is a part of our lives and always will be but it irritated me! I'm good enough to foster him but Heaven Forbid I adopt him?!

Ahh well, I digress... Overall, it was a very interesting group and I really enjoyed it! I think we'll start going every month :)! Plus May is "Hair & Skincare" woohooo!! Just what I need! LOL!!

I have soo much information (read: gossip) that I got at court on Weds.. I'll try to post about it later when I can wrap my mind around it all without a stress headache! LOL!

The big 2 !

**edited to remove pic after reg. readers had their chance to see it! lol! I'm a big wimp **

A day late, a dollar short. Isn't that how it always is around here?

Just wanted to share Drool Prince's new hair do.. He loves it-probably because momma isn't chasing after him with a pick or comb trying to get the knots out of his very curly hair! This will have to suffice for his bday picture as well since I didn't take any non-face shots yesterday on his bday! lol! (fostercare policy and all, can't share pics of the boy online )..

I meant to post this yesterday and OMG I simply cannot believe that he's TWO already!? Where did the time go?! It seems like just yesterday I got the call for him & was waiting anxiously to go pick him up at the hospital! Two is such a big age- no longer a baby, now a toddler :( Plus he's my youngest, my baby.. It's hard to realize how quickly he grew up.. His babyhood seemed to last longer than the others~ perhaps b/c of all his medical issues and all the hospital visits/stays ect.. Regardless I"m sad to see the baby years gone already.

He's such a big boy. Such a sweetie pie. Everyone who meets him tells me that they are sure he's spoiled because who could resist that face?! Too true..

I sit here and await the day that we can adopt him & make him 100% legally ours.. Hopefully that day comes sooner rather than later .. As of right now, DCS says maybe summer?!

Happy birthday my baby boy!!

Big News!

I just have to share my news ----------sommmmmmmmmmmewhere!! So bloggy friends, here I am shouting it out to you!!

As per the 'addendum' to the filed caseplan for Drool Prince :
- DCS will proceed with TPR on birthmom.
- DCS will now cancel the ICPC for birthdad.
- DCS will now begin TPR proceedings on birthdad.

Yup- birthdad screwed up Royally.. Not even a little.. no siree. He screwed up soo badly that as we speak he is still sitting in jail on a very hefty bond with more felony charges than I can count on one hand. He was arrested about an hour after dropping MY SON off from his all day visit- that in itself pisses me off to no end.

Now don't get me wrong- I really liked birthdad. He is one of those people that you just can't help but like- very smooth operator.. He's funny, sweet, always complimenting, actually gets down on the floor to play with his kids.. Great guy right?

Yup, except for the drug dealing- probably won't put you at the top of my list of people I want to be seen hanging out with..

Dude- how could you screw up soo badly? I was actually looking forward to the open adoption and being able to keep a part of Drool Prince's past somewhat active in his life. Not sure how easy that will be when that part of the past is now looking at lots and LOTS of years in prison if convicted :(

I'm sad for Drool Prince who will most likely never get to have a good relationship with his biological parents who continuously choose drugs over him. I'm sad for birthdad that he got back involved in this type of life. I'm sad for birthmom who has never been able to get away from this type of life. I probably feel worst for her- after all Drool Prince will grow up in a loving home and be taught right from wrong ect, birthdad made his own choices & will have to deal with the consequences.. but birthmom- yes she's an addict, but knowing what I do about her own childhood and how she was raised makes me want to grab her up and just hug her to pieces.

On the upside- because there is always an upside- the goal should be changing towards adoption very soon for us! I'm thrilled that things are things are able to progress for us & that all this newest mess with birthdad was brought to light NOW and not later when Drool Prince could have been affected more..

*******

No update on Spoiled Princess' sibling.. Still waiting on the court date- which ironically no one is at liberty to share with me- that is some time this month.. I'm crossing my fingers for next week since Drool Prince's court is next week. It'd be nice for me since I'll already be there :)

Damn Baby Stealer..

Soo my newest gossip.. I heard thru the grapevine that Drool Prince's birthmom is due in LESS.THAN.A.MONTH!!! Hello?! The exact timeframe I figured based on our discussion this summer.. I'm sooo torn.

This is her 4th child.. She has not raised any of the other 3.

Plus she is an addict and while I'm not saying anything against her [the Lord knows it's very hard to fight addiction],but she's been an addict for a very long time and she wasn't able to clean up for Drool Prince so I'm kind of doubtful that she'll clean up for the new one. I'm sure she's going to try her hardest and quite honestly I've said many a prayer [and I'm not really the praying type- sure I believe in God and all but just kinda figured that we all make our own mistakes and he doesn't have the time to interfere in everyone's lives] for her and that unborn child.. If she can get cleaned up [and stay out of jail] to care for this one then more power to her..

But I still have these lingering thoughts- if she doesn't do it.. I soooooo want that baby.. and that makes me feel like a horrible baby stealer.. I want this sweet sibling for Drool Prince.. A part of me wonders what if she does clean up? How can that be explained to Drool Prince- well yes, your birthmom couldn't clean up for you but she did it for the next child?

Ugh, think what you will but I'm sure many of you deep deep down in the very hidden most part of your heart would feel the same way. I'm probably just the only one stupid enough to admit it.. If you want to bash, feel free.. But if you're the praying type- please say a prayer for that little one that however it happens it will be safe and healthy!

More interesting news...

Well I was all set to share pictures and tell you about Spoiled Princess' latest illness [poor baby was very sick, but I'll share later], but her cold [which is mostly gone] has been trumped with NEWS!!

You see, I emailed Drool Prince's caseworker this morning. We've been playing this little dance with his birth mom- she comes to court dates , has a visit every once in a blue moon , yet always insists that this time she's cleaning up and going to get him back. Back in Dec. they had a hearing to begin TPR (termination of parental rights) to which birthmom did not show. Of course she did not even get a slap on the wrist, they just reset it for 6wks later. For some odd reason I did not write down the actual date [probably because I doubted much would come this time either]. So this morning I was thinking about it [strange how things just pop in your head sometimes isn't it?] and emailed the caseworker to ask her when it was scheduled for... She emailed back and told me that it was indeed THIS MORNING! Hmm, maybe I'm psychic? or maybe I'm just that gooood!

So the good news is NOT that she actually showed up at court.. The good news is that after almost two years [more spent MIA than actually seeing D.Prince] she has stated that she's going to voluntarily terminate her own rights!! Wow! I'm a bit in shock! They've set a new court date for early Feb. for her to actually do that [of course her public defender needs time to talk to her about the implications of it and all]. I'm hoping she follows thru since she has never been a steady presence in Drool Prince's life. Ironically, Birthmom did admit to the caseworker that she is indeed pregnant.. I'm sure she's surrendering in hopes that she'll be out of the lime light and get to keep the new little one [who she claims isn't due for 6months, but she's quite a bit larger and we've been wondering since June if she was]..

So there you have it, my news.. We may actually get to adopt before the boy is three! lol!