A wind of change

is blowing thru the Kingdom of Chaos..  I've been pushed around back and forth- happy, sad.. all over the place.. I'll try to condense it into one quick post but you know my love for blab...

By now, you know I'm never happy with one thing for long.. I like change, variety ...yet comfort in the familiar.. I'm a mass of contradictions what can I say.

Things are hopping around here lately.

Big news is that BabyMama signed off her rights on The Toddler.  Bad news is that it's not official until next month sometime because DCS is slow to getting a court date.  I honestly don't believe she would change her mind because it was a HUGE step for her to be able to do this.. Still the wait is agonizing.   So now we are still waiting on the caseworker to not only get the adoption paperwork around for Drool Prince, but now also The Toddler..

We did get to fill out the adoption subsidy paperwork again [ugh- new forms = redoing it..]. One new thing on the forms was that it asks for their new legal name after adoption.. Drool Prince's name has been set for almost 2yrs [since TPR].. It's the name he knows, the name he gives everyone.. it's just him.   The Toddler's middle name , the one he'll go by, has been set for quite some time.. Daddy Chaos and I went back and forth.. back and forth on a first name until finally he gave in on one of my few select names..  So we've called The Toddler by that name since prior to the failed TPR.  Only now.. now I had to write it on an official document.  I suddenly got cold feet.. Maybe it should be one of those other names. Maybe I selfishly pushed Daddy Chaos into chosing a name that I liked and should have let him have one he liked better?  I was willing to change last minute..  Daddy Chaos, on the other hand, says no.. He has become this name.. So for the past week or so I've went around testing various other names and Daddy Chaos just shakes his head at me.. I'm fickle..  Maybe my baby won't want to be named for a hot body actor.. But then again, this boy is gonna be smooooth so I suppose the name fits.  Regardless, I've written their new names down on that official document and handed it in.. It gives me shivers to finally have it on paper.. Adoptions- let's go!!!

Bad news is that in yet another routine pacemaker check it was discovered that Drool Prince's pacemaker is yet again not working properly.. I admit, I can normally handle his various problems and surgeries without batting an eye.. because I'm ready for them.. This time we did a phone check, the tech said everything sounded good and offered no sage advice like "wait by the phone, the dr will be calling you" to give me warning..

An hour later Dr Heart's nurse called me... She told me her name and I immediately said "Oh Shit!".  She then told me that they had just received Drool Prince's phone transmission and I immediately interrupted with "something's wrong?!" and then promptly started crying.  I need a build up. I need an hours warning where I can worry- sure, I'll worry but I can also prepare..  So we packed an overnight bag & Daddy,Drool & I headed down to the Children's hospital.

It's funny how you can check in at the ER behind a 3day old baby who's Mom calmly states he's having seizures and aspirating [who can be calm about that?! ack! Immediately it made me wonder if she was a foster parent vs the biological mom to have absolutely no reaction but Daddy Chaos thought perhaps the baby had seizures from birth or there was a family history.. regardless it was odd] and just mention that cardio asked you to get here and that your son's pacemaker is not functioning properly.  It's amazing how quickly they scoop you up and take you to a room. We barely had time to sit down when they were out there taking us to our room- ahead of the seizure baby. That was the end to the quickness..

Hours in the ER room.. We saw 4 drs, 1 xray tech & 1 ekg tech  each one who would walk into the room and ask Drool Prince his name.. To which he would say Drool Prince Chaos.  They would look at their chart quickly and then look @ us like oh crap are we in the wrong room?? Then I'd have to quickly assure them that no it's fine.. Boy1 Old Name is his legal name but we are in the process of adopting and he goes by his new name.. Finally one of the drs wrote in his chart to call him Drool and all was well.

In the end, the xray appeared clear.. No lead broken in two like last time.  However, the lead is not functioning properly. The very nice Dr [Dr Ho-Ho (minus a Ho) -- who gave me a giggle every single time I had to say his name.. giggling at this point was hard to come by so I'm relieved I was blessed with a Dr who had a funny name.] explained things well to us. There could be a micro fracture that you can't even see on an xray [possible from a kink as they coil the lead up inside and it slowly uncoils as the kid grows, sometimes it kinks] or it could be scar tissue on his heart where the lead is sutured on causing the interference.  Regardless of the reason, he was able to turn up the settings enough to make the lead work.. for now.  Voltage was upped from 5 to 7.5, sensitivity & pulse length were turned all the way up [1].  We were then asked to spend the nite for observation.

The next day we got to see our normal Dr.   Dr.Heart did another pacemaker check and agreed with Dr Ho-Ho (minus a Ho) [ha, see I still giggle even typing it] that the lead was still working with those settings.  She was willing to go ahead and put us on the surgery schedule now but because Drool Prince isn't dependent on his pacemaker she was willing to also let us wait it out until we really needed it.. The next surgery is going to be more in depth than the last because Dr Heart agrees that having surgery every darn year for a lead issue is just too much.. We need to move the pacemaker farther up under his ribs for hopefully better protection, but alas this means cutting open his ribs somehow..ugh.  So after some deliberation, we decided to wait on the surgery until it's absolutely necessary.

It may be a few weeks or a few months but surgery is looming in our future.. It's completely unfair to Drool Prince.. He's been thru so much and to have to undergo yet another surgery.. "It's not fair!" to coin Attitude King's favorite phrase.  But we'll get thru it.

Good but mostly insignificant news is that yet again I have changed my hair..  See I told you I was never happy with anything for long.  I liked my last hair cut.. It was cute, it worked but wasn't difficult.. I was happy with it but I craved a change. I'm weird like that.. Never leave anything alone for long.. Daddy Chaos says it's because I'm looney.. I say it's because I'm adventurous..  I like my way better.

So with no further ado,  the before picture :

Ok, so you see what I mean? It's nice. It's comfortable. I may be a natural brunette but I prefer blonde and sometimes with a little red thrown in. I took three different pictures into my hair appt with me.. Not really sure which I'd choose and in the end I did as I always did and let my stylist [ohh that sounds fancy doesn't it?] decide.

The After pictures :

Immediately after I got it cut, I went to the playroom [our hair salon has a playroom for the kids- how cool is that?] to show the kids..
I heard lots of "Ohh Mommy!! That's pretty"

" I like it!"

"Mommy, you cut your hair off!"

And then Drool Prince says "Mommy, I love your hair.. but now we will lose you at the store!"    ha! Poor kid, I look so different to him apparently I could just slip away in the store never to be seen again.. LoL


So far people are either loving it or hating it.. It's been a LONG time since I've been dark or had bangs [ack] and it's a tad bit shorter than I was going for [Alice Cullen from Eclipse] but it works for me. It gives me something to play with and it's new and different.  Who knows, I might go less red and more dark next time if I'm really brave!

And that is where I think I shall end today's installment of Life @ Chateau de Chaos [ ha don't you love the mixture of languages there?].. If you made it this far, you win a gold star!